Saturday, July 25, 2009

Barack Obama...beer bust politics! Poorly chosen words...



In a few short succinct words, Barack Obama levelled a criticism at a Law Enforcement Officer earlier in the week which triggered an uproar across the Nation that is still playing out.

The furor first erupted when the Prez - rightly so - scolded a Police Officer for handcuffing and subsequently charging an Afro-American Professor for disorderly conduct at his home.

In a nutshell, Obama called the racist cop "stupid" - at which point - Police Brass went on the warpath.

In a news conference, the arrogant law enforcement low-life's complained to all within ear shot that the assessment was not only harsh, but uncalled for.

"Without a full picture of what happened, Obama should have stayed out of the picture," one angry Police Official asserted for the record.

And, when the President took a leap - and expressed his view that the incident smacked of racial profiling - the outcry was swift and severe.

Whoa Nellie.

For a moment, it appeared a lynching may be in the offing

"The supervisors and the patrol officers of the Cambridge Police Department deeply resent the implication and reject any suggestions that in this case or any other case they have allowed race to direct their activities," Sgt. Dennis O'Connor (President of the Cambridge Police Superior Officers Association) hissed.

Now, in the midst of the controversy, the Prez has backed down.

What a wimp!

Is Obama going to roll over for these pigs in Cambridge and take it up the a**?

Surely, he doesn't honestly expect for one deluded second that "beer bust" maneuvers (the Prez invited the dualing parties over to chat up the issues over a brewski) will actually win-out in the White House?
If so, he has more suds in his head that I originally thought!

Frankly, I think that Barack should turn in those "Mom Jeans" he wore when he threw the 1st pitch at a recent baseball match back east, and trade 'em in for a snazzy pair of "No Excuses".

For starters, Barack was not "off the mark" - nor did he speak improperly - when he simply called a "spade a spade."

Like or not, the Police force has - and will probably continue to engage in racial profiling - until the department is purged of rogue cops who wantonly and illegally engage in racist conduct.

In fact, when I was on holiday in Las Vegas a few months ago, I personally witnessed an arrest going down on the strip which smacked of racial profiling from the get-go.

Post: 05/12/09

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2009/05/las-vegasracial-profiling-continues-on.html


But, there is a bigger picture that Barack Obama and Law Enforcements Officials have to keep their eyes focused on.

"Abuse of Power" under the Color of Authority.

The near-riot in MacArthur Park last year is a perfect example.

In spite of the fact thousands of witnesses stepped forward to provide testimony to establish the truth about the shocking conduct of Officers that railed throughout that fateful day, the Police Chief continued to manipulate the facts and evidence behind-the-scenes with the ultimate aim of bolstering the image of the LAPD at the expense of the victims.

Denial! Denial! Denial!

In another shocking incident a few weeks ago, which I penned a post on, the LAPD Vice Squad engaged in conduct that was not only questionable but downright criminal in nature.

In that post I noted that a middle-aged man was falsely accused of committing a crime, unlawfully detained, handcuffed, and subjected to various humilities in front of strangers on the street.

At one point - with the deceitful aim of turning in a neat and tidy package to a superior (a police report and collar) one corrupt rookie cop intimidated the witness (a criminal offense) and tried to coerce the alleged suspect into admitting to a crime (he did commit) to avoid prosecution (of a Felony).

Post:
http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2009/07/lapdvice-squad-threatens-intimidates.html

Of course - the incidents of racial profiling, unlawful arrest, rights violations, and abuse of power under the color of authority - go on and on.

Until Police Chiefs around the country fess up, Barack Obama - in particular - should not let up.

If investigations and paper trails aren't going to get to the truth and result in charges being brought against offending Officers, then the fascist pigs must be tried in the public court of opinion - humiliated, exposed, defamed under the glare of the spotlight - if that is what it takes to turn the tide.

I say, go get 'em Tiger!

In closing, I part with a quiz.

Q: "What is a synonym for a Police Officer?"

A: A Professional Liar!






Los Angeles...mean streets rampant with thugs! Blow 'em away...


Last night at the "Emergency" room at Olympic Medical Center, a couple of young men in their mid-twenties or so escorted a friend to the facility for treatment after he was assaulted.

Allegedly, a gang of youths attending a "house party" in Brentwood, started a fiery ruckus around midnight which ended up disturbing the next-door neighbors.

When a couple of the residents turned up at the party digs with a request that the noise level be squelched a tad, one defiant teenager (about 16 or 17) proceeded to angrily shove the local resident from behind into an empty cement pool.

Unfortunately, he hit his head on the concrete and suffered a short "black-out".

On the heels of this senseless act of violence, concerned friends bundled their pal up and whisked him off to the nearest local hospital .

At this juncture, the culprits ran down the street and disappeared into the darkness.

Cowards!

I shook my head in disgust as I listened to the violent tale!

One man in the waiting room expressed his shock about what went down this way.

"In Brentwood! Can you believe it?"

About two days ago, I also crossed paths with a "victim" involved in a separate incident, which confirmed my suspicions that there is a growing hostility - leading to violence - escalating in the mean streets of Los Angeles.

For example, a Latino man around thirty years of age was apparently eating a snack at a fast-food take-out at Highland and Santa Monica Boulevard late one evening this past week, when an Afro-American man with half of a broken bottle in his hand demanded he fork over his earphones and CD player.

After complying with the request, the low-life reached over and tried to snatch up his wallet, too.
In response, the "victim" put up his arm to prevent the thief from making off with his personal effects.

At this point, the attacker slashed the humble Mexican man across the face of his hand with the jagged edge of the bottle, which resulted in a serious would which required hospitalization.

Ironically, about one hour earlier, I casually assured a New York woman that the neighborhood she had taken lodging in was pretty "safe".

In retrospect?

I was obviously wrong.

Notwithstanding, a couple of nasty confrontations I have experienced first-hand in trendy West Hollywood and Beverly Hills in recent days, have caused me to re-think the neighborhoods I venture into after-hours, the mode of travel I'll use to go back and forth, and so forth and so on.

Like Barack Obama, I normally engage in long walks, which I have found are the perfect leisure activity to collect my thoughts, piece together rough drafts for my blog, rustle up a bit of much-needed exercise, and simply catch a breath of fresh air.

So, if I have a chore to do (and time permits) I usually keep the car parked and walk around the neighborhood, instead.

In view of the outbreak of violence in the streets lately, I am rethinking that scenario.

In addition, I am seriously considering abandoning commutes on the Metro, because of a couple of incidents of late which shook me up.

Last week, for instance, I boarded a bus and ended up plunking myself down opposite a young male and his female companion.

As the bus roared along a main street through tony Beverly Hills and then beyond into West Hollywood, I started to organize my schedule for the next day.

As my stop approached, I signaled to the bus driver my intention to exit.

Just as I was nearing the rear door, the young African-American male (who originally sat across from me) suddenly appeared from the back of the bus and started to hurl wild allegations at me.

"I should beat your a** for listening to my conversation. Don't you ever do that."

I stared at him incredulous for a second, then uttered a reply.

"What are you talking about? I never did any such thing."

The truth of the matter is, I was so caught up in my own thoughts, that I didn't even notice when he stood up and moved to a seat at the back of the bus.

Even still, he continued to rant!

Then, he threatened me.

"If you get off this bus, I'm going to come after you and kick your bu**," he hissed.

Well, I'd had enough of his nonsense!

So, I boldly stepped off the bus into the street.

After I firmly planted my feet on the sidewalk, I have-turned and gave a suggestive glance his way

"Come on."

Suddenly, a ripple of fear crossed his face.

Then, he hesitated.

Uh-huh.

His menacing posturing - and in-your-face intimidation tactics - were nothing but empty bravado meant for show.

Because I called his bluff, he was at a loss to fathom how to save face in front of the busload of passengers who were now on the edge of their seats hanging onto every moment of the intense drama that was unfolding before them.

Fortunately, his girlfriend dashed forward and urged him not to pursue the issue further.

"It's not worth it," she cried out.

He shrugged, and tried to give off the impression that he was going to be generous, and "let it go" this time.

Out of the goodness of his heart?

Bullsh**.

In spite of the timely intervention by his friend - which saved his sorry black a** - it was evident when the bus lurched forward on its route once again that he didn't learn anything from the nasty encounter.

Once the bus doors were closed, and he was safely ensconced inside, he pointed an angry finger at me in a threatening manner and yelled through a crack in the door:

"I'll get you next time."

Right!

I won't hold my breath, kiddo.

Another incident last night, was the final straw, though.

I was strolling up a street in Hollywood proper, when I happened to glance up from the sidewalk for about one second to get my bearings.

As my eyes left the cement walkway, a scruffy-looking low-life happened to be in my eye line, and we ended up glancing at each other for a split-second or two by accident.

"What are you looking at?" he snarled at me.

With lightning speed, the wheels of my mind turned quickly, and a solution to the problem was offered up from the lower reaches of my psyche.

"Ignore the a**hole. Keep walking," my inner voice commanded me.

As I strode past him, he shouted at me:

"Fag!"

At this point, I was inclined to retort back.

"Sorry. I am not into ugly-looking men like you."

But, common sense prevailed, and I simply moved on.

Gandhi would have been proud.

During moments like these, themes in vigilante movies like those that recently featured Jody Foster in the lead role - or morality tales Charles Bronson starred in a couple of decades ago which touted taking the law into your hands - seem to make a lot of sense.

Yup!

The next time some piece of ghetto sh** strides up and insults you?

Solve the problem pronto.

Pull out a gun and blow him away.

Society will thank you for it, just betcha.



Friday, July 24, 2009

Mysteries of the Heart...a love poem!





Between the bows of social grace
I gaze in quiet wonder
as a chorus of elusive emotions
subtly rise and fall
beneath the surface
of
flawless alabaster skin
And, breathe life into a loveless crystal face

Then, in one fleeting moment
Speaks volumes
About the mysteries of the heart
before vanishing into the ether
without trace
or regret

Julian Ayrs
Musings
A collection of Poems

http://www.julianayrs.com

Paris Hilton (Premiere Video)...Paris aloof with photogs! Parents beam next to her!

In this video - which was shot on the red carpet tonight - Paris appeared to be a bit shy when she posed with her parents in front of the Majestic Theatre (Westwood).

In contrast, whenever the charismatic actress drifted in my direction, she was outgoing and at ease.

Why?

Maybe it's because one or two of the photographers rudely barked out orders and treated the young heiress like a "Show Horse" to be led around by the nose.

HD Video captured by Julian Ayrs @ the Tattler.

Exclusive Videos of Paris at the Julian Ayrs YouTube site:

http://www.youtube.com/user/ijulian9

http://www.julianayrs.com

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Paris Hilton (Premiere Video)...production staff shoo away gate-crashers & lookie-loos!

video

As celebrated guests strolled down the red carpet at the dazzling premiere of Paris Hilton's documentary - Paris, not France, these hapless production staffers were charged with the ultra-important task of keeping out the gate-crashers & the lookie-loos.

Who, moi?

When Paris made her entrance, there was no doubt, who was the star though!

The young Heiress sparkled in a silk designer dress with tasteful understated accessories which underscored her sense of style and keen fashion sense!

Fans & paparazzi went wild, needless to say!

HD Video captured by Julian Ayrs at the Tattler.

Exclusive Videos of Paris at the Julian Ayrs YouTube site:

http://www.youtube.com/user/ijulian9

http://www.julianayrs.com

Mercedes Benz...luxury auto flawed!



Every day you learn something new!

This morning, a friend of mine needed a jump-start after leaving his parking lights on all night, and running his battery down.

Sounds a lot like his personal life!

After dragging out the cables, and lifting up the hood so it could be seen in plain view by motorists driving by, he innocently batted his eyes as he prayed inside that a good Samaritan would careen to a halt and lend a helping hand.

"Do you always depend on the kindness of strangers," I quizzed him jokingly.

"That's how I ended up tying the knot with most of my lovers!"

Yeah, I'm familiar with all the boy-toys he's hauled into the sack.

The lusty love affairs usually started off with a bang, then whimpered away a few weeks later in the dark good night!

Uh-huh.

I'm cynical when it comes to matters of the heart.

But, back to the WeHo Lothario.

After a scant few minutes, a pretty young woman (a smattering of 'em feel safe among gays) sashayed down the quiet side street with her adorable Chihuahua in tow.

When she laid her soft brown eyes on the sorry son-of-a-gun, she was quick to enter the fray.

"Everything okay?" she softly purred.

So, he started up with his tawdry tale.

The generous gal offered to jump - er - give him a boost.

So, he was in like Flynn!

Imagine that, the down-to-earth sweetie was tooling around town in a top-of-the-line spanking new 2009 Mercedes Benz.

Now, his experiences with all the old junk piles he cruised around the neighborhood over the years (that he actually called cars), would come in handy.

For starters, the good Samaritan couldn't fathom how to open the hood of the spiffy roadster!

But, fate was not with my brewskie buddy, after he popped the latch.

After scanning the engine for the location of the battery for a nano second or two, he threw up his hands in disgust.

Nada.

"I'll call the dealership and ask where the it's located," she smiled sweetly.

But, shortly after a snippet of conversation went down between her and the salesman at the lot, her mood noticeably shifted.

"Something is up. And, it doesn't sound kosher," my intuitive pal was inclined to surmise.

"A no-go?" he overheard her mutter under her breath.

As it turns out, a Mercedes - in particular, her jazzy model - does not have the capacity to jump-start another ailing auto down on its luck by the side of the road.

Nope, her Mercedes is not the - "little engine that could" - by any stretch of the imagination.

So, what is the moral of the story?

Always flag down a robust all-American car - preferably made by Ford - to ensure you get the jump-start you need when your battery needs charging up.

In closing?

As Peter Falk would say:

"Just one more thing".

Did you know when a number of school children were recently showed a peace sign in class, a large percentage of the students thought it was the logo for Mercedes Benz?

The "Status Generation".

That's what I call 'em.




Michael Jackson Face Morph

The many faces of Michael Jackson!

And, what of the inner image, that peered out from behind a mask - that ultimately - shieled the true "Michael Jackson" from the heady (sometimes ugly) glare of the searing spotlight?

Julian

Children of Invention...award-winning film premieres in Manhattan! Screening @ School of Visual Arts Theatre (July 25th).



Talented charismatic film director - Tze Chun - excitedly informed me this morning that his award-winning film (featuring two adorable young Asian children in the two lead roles) is slated to screen in NYC this weekend.

Just this past spring - "Children of Invention" - kicked-off the annual Asian Pacific Film Festival at the Director's Guild of America here on the West Coast in West Hollywood.

By the end of the eclectic festival, the well-crafted entertaining Independent film - garnered down-to-earth Tze Chun (a friend on Facebook now) with top film honors by the Jury Committee (Grand Jury Prize).

Deservedly so!

To scan a review I posted a few weeks ago follow the link:

Post: 05/10/09

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2009/05/asian-pacific-film-festivalentertaining_10.html

The preview in Manhattan is under the auspices of the 32nd Annual Asian American International Film Festival and has been singled out as a Centerpiece Presentation.

Tickets are going fast so snap 'em up early!

Date:
July 25th (Saturday)

Time:
7:45 pm

Tickets:
$15.00
(After-party privileges)

www.facebook.com/l/;https://www.ovationtix.com/trs/pe/7417645

Theatre:

School of Visual Arts Theater
333 West 23rd Street (b/t 8th & 9th Avenue)
New York, NY 10011

Enjoy!


Director Tze Chun in a creative moment


Paris Hilton...the paparazzi jockey for best shot on red carpet!

Once the celebrated heiress - Paris Hilton - strides down the red carpet, it is an immediate love affair with the press.

And, quite a sight to behold!

As the sensual beauty strikes a pose, frenzied photographers jump into action, anxious to secure a top-notch still sure to please their Editors (and, I gather, rack in a few of the big bucks).

Moi?

I stand on the sidelines amused.

Later, Ms. Hilton will gravitate towards my lens, like a moth to flame.

Natch!

HD Video captured by Julian Ayrs @ the Tattler.

Exclusive Videos of Paris at Julian Ayrs YouTube site:

http://www.youtube.com/user/ijulian9

http://www.julianayrs.com

Paris Hilton (VIDEO)...paparazzi mob heiress on red carpet!

There wasn't much elbow room on the red carpet tonight as a posse of local and National paparazzi jockeyed into position on a postage-sized press catwalk for their best shot.

Ms. Hilton - flawless in a sheer designer gown and understated jewellery which sparked up the ensemble just so - was gracious none-the-less.

HD Video captured by Julian Ayrs @ the Tattler.

Exclusive Videos of Paris at Julian Ayrs YouTube site:

http://www.youtube.com/user/ijulian9

http://www.julianayrs.com

Paris Hilton (Premiere Video)...sensual siren delights fan at red carpet affair In Westwood!

Paris Hilton was a knock-out last night on the red carpet when she appeared for the screening of her documentary in Westwood.

One fan was thrilled when the classy beauty alighted "this-close" for photo ops.

The paparazzi went into a frenzy!

At one point, Paris posed with her mother and father for snap that hinted at the fact the dazzling young beauty is part of a close-knit who keep her grounded in the topsy-turvy dizzying realm of show biz!

HD Video captured by Julian Ayrs @ the Tattler.

Exclusive Videos of Paris @ Julian Ayrs YouTube site:

http://www.youtube.com/use/ijulian9

http://www.julianayrs.com

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Paris Hilton (Premiere Video)...Paris dazzles in silk & diamonds! Fans & paparazzi frenzy...

video

Paris Hilton wowed! fans and paparazzi alike in a silk designer gown & jewels that sparkled and caught the light sending a million little rainbows scattering like stardust here and there on the red carpet.

A darling, Paris stopped and chatted, and allowed a multitude of photo ops for the excited film-goers there to catch her new documentary!

HD Video captured by Julian Ayrs @ the Tattler.

Exclusive Video of Paris Hilton @ Julian Ayrs YouTube site:

http://www.youtube.com/user/ijulian9

http://www.julianayrs.com/

Pavilions...spanking new grocery swings open doors! Coupons! Free Merchandise! Spiffy WeHo outlet...

Pavilions fell down and went BOOM last spring!



Like moi, I expect you flipped open the mailbox the other morning - and spied the slick glossy flyer from Pavilions announcing that the West Hollywood outlet under construction at a snail's pace for the past twelve months or so - is about to thrust open its doors.

Whew!

Since spring blossomed into the lazy days of summer last year - sauntering beyond Robertson and Santa Monica Boulevard was tantamount to venturing into a vast chaotic abyss - rife with mutant strains of dust spewing ominous poisons on unsuspecting rush-hour commuters, rumbling dump trucks careening wildly down normally-quiet residential streets, and a cacophony of head-splitting jack-hammers piercing the ears daily.

Today?

The spanking new grocery with all the shiny bells and whistles beckons!

Apparently, the long-suffering wait was worth it.

No more late-night munchies or midnight-madness at Rock 'n Roll Ralph's on the glitzy Sunset Strip (@ Musicians alley).

Forget Gelsons!

The buffed studs strutting about may be ripe for the picking - but Gelsons' (formerly the Mayfair market) pricey high-calorie baked goods and snobby clientele with discerning turned-up reconstructed noses - are by way of the Dinosaur.

Meanwhile, at Whole Foods, I've tussled over a paper grocery bag with an off-beat self-indulgent cashier for the the last time, too.

Yup!

First trek down to Pavilions, I'll be cashing in my chips, you betcha!

With a few select coupons in hand, this savvy shopper will be snatching up a whole gold pineapple or two ($1.00 a tropical pop), one nutritious O Organics Salad (a 1-buck bargain with a coupon and ValuePlus card in tow), a crusty Artisan French Bread loaf (49 cents smart per offering), one thirst-quenching carafe of Safeway Apple Juice (FREE! with a coupon and ValuePlus Card), a jar of sticky-scrumptious Peanut Butter - sans poison strains of bacteria - darling (FREE! with a coupon and ValuePlus Card), and last - but not least - the old gut is grumbling for a Waterfront Bistro flash frozen seafood snack up to $8.99 in value (FREE! with a coupon and ValuePlus card).

Wake up and smell the java, dudes!

Oh, it slipped my mind, dear readers.

Safeway Select PrePack Coffee may be scooped up at a discount price ($2.00 off per coupon) until the offer expires September 4th (2009).

By the way, if you're on the prowl for a coffee mate, check out the produce stalls where a bevy of muscled studs have been sighted over the years flirting & flexing & fixating their way into bodacious hearts (among other things).

See 'ya there!




http://www.julianayrs.com

Barack Obama...letter from the President! Tune in tonight: Health Care Insurance for Americans...



From: President Barack Obama
Subject: Tune in
To: julian@julianayrs.com
Date: Wednesday, July 22, 2009, 12:48 PM


Dear Friend,

As you read this, we are closer than ever to passing comprehensive health insurance reform that benefits American families and small businesses. Despite all the back and forth in the news right now, it is important to understand just how far we've come in this challenging process.

That's why I'm holding a press conference tonight at 8pm ET, and writing to let everyone know where we are, what's ahead, and why health insurance reform is so important.

Let me be clear: although Congress is still debating parts of the legislation we have achieved critical consensus on several key areas:

If you already have health insurance: reform will provide you with more security and stability. It will limit your own out of pocket costs and prevent your insurance company from dropping your coverage if you get too sick. You'll also have affordable insurance options if you lose or change your job. And it will cover preventive care like check-ups and mammograms that save lives and money.

If you don't have health insurance: you will finally have guaranteed access to quality, affordable health care, and you can choose the plan that best suits your family's needs. And no insurance company will be allowed to deny you coverage because of a pre-existing medical condition.

Now, I realize that the last few miles of any race are the hardest to run, but we can't stop now. There's no dispute about it: we cannot control our long-term fiscal health as a nation without health insurance reform. American families and small businesses understand that the health insurance status quo is taking away those things that they value most about health care. The stability and security that comes with knowing that you can get the treatment you need, when you need it. Without reform, we are consigning our children to a future of skyrocketing premiums and crushing deficits.

We have to seize this opportunity and pass health insurance reform this year. You can help by forwarding this email to your family and friends and letting them know what's at stake in this debate.

Thank you,
Barack Obama

P.S.

Tune in to Press Conference on Health Insurance reform @ 8 pm ET




White House screening room where the Prez catches a flick!

That...quote!


As you are
life is

Julian Ayrs
Chocolate Buddha
Collection of Poems

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Harry Potter...pines to play role of Transvestite!


A bit Milton Berle, Daniel!



I was thumbing through one of the local gay rags , when I spied a headline about English Actor Daniel Radcliffe, who inhabits the role of "Harry Potter" in the screen adaptations of the best-selling books by celebrated fiction-writer J.K. Rowlings.

"Daniel Radcliffe wants to play a transvestite."

No, a transvestite is not a Vampire from Transylvania, by any stretch of the imagination.

If you're confused, well, you outta be.

Transvestites have, after all, been transformed (another "trans" word breaking out into the mainstream of late) somewhat over the past couple of decades or so since my own debauched youth when I crossed paths with a lady of the night or two of that exotic persuasion.

For example, in the stone-age of the gay community (men who were drawn to same-sex partners were referred to as "homos" way back then) males who indulged their sensual fantasies in naughty silky underthings (and kinky toys to heighten the scintillating walk on the wild side) were known as transvestites.

Trannies, for short!

But, it should be noted for the record that closetted dudes (light in the loafers as they used to say in the heyday of Tinseltown) just got their jollies off - for the most part - wafting around in drag, camping it up on stage in tacky back-alley fag hang-outs, and what-have-you.

Not my cup of tea!

In fact, only a handful of cross-dressers I've been "this-close-to" ever put forth the Freudian notion that they were tortured women trapped in buffed male bods aching to be set "free".

Christine Jorgensen - a former military man in the U.S. ranks (with brass ba**s, I surmise in retrospect) - was one of the first to go where no man had gone before.

Some say, William Shatner was pulling up the rear, though.

Just kidding trekkie fans!

But, it is a truism.

Once the old "johnson" gets snipped, there's no Monday-morning quarterbacking later, that's for sure!

During the late sixties and early seventies, I befriended a couple of talented "show girls" who opened the door of awareness and understanding for me.

Sandy St. Peters, for instance - lauded for her flawless impressions of iconic female film personas on stage - was one of the well-adjusted few who made the transition from "King of the Jungle" to "Diva!" successfully.

Tragic Edith Piaf belted it out best.

"No regrets".

In her later years, Sandy was virtually elevated to status of "Saint", and was a blessing to the GLBTG community until she passed to spirit.


Craig Russell, on the other hand, was a multi-talented "Scarborough" boy (like moi), who sky-rocketed to fame briefly here and abroad.

Unfortunately, Russell was unable to conquer his childhood demons.

Sadly, the quirky stage performer met a tragic demise before his full potential was fully realized.

Then, of course, there's Dame Edna from down under!

A dazzling blue-haired charmer and the toast of any town she saunters into.

Eureka!

I say, that's it.

How 'bout Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter) and Dame Edna traipsing the boards in a revival of a celebrated stage play?

Charlie's Aunt!

I can hear the beautiful sound of the cash registers now.

Ka-ching! Ka-ching!



Hung like a horse, Daniel?
Then, tuck it under for the stage show, Dude!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Don't try...quote!



Don't try

To try is
to stutter at doing



Julian Ayrs
Chocolate Buddha
Collections of Poems



http://www.julianayrs.com

Angel's Flight...



I pray that one starry night
when the thoughts in my head are stilled
And, the passion in my heart is quelled
Under a ripe old harvest moon
A messenger from on high
anoint my spirit with eternal healing light
that my soul may be lifted up
And, take Angel's flight



Julian Ayrs
Divine Grace
Collection of Poems



http://www.julianayrs.com

Monday, July 20, 2009

Being...quote!



What man is content to sit and think
or to simply
be

Julian Ayrs
Divine Grace
Collection of Poems

What people think...quote!



I used to worry about what people would think
Then, it suddenly dawned on me one day
They usually don't

Julian Ayrs
Chocolate Buddha
Collecction of Poems


President Obama More Popular Than His Policies - George's Bottom Line

President Obama More Popular Than His Policies - George's Bottom Line

Shared via AddThis

Ford...faulty tire jack design strands motorists on highway!



Ford Mariner tire jack a piece of poorly-designed junk



This past weekend, I found out the hard way that a tire jack accessory that FORD designed for my SUV, is faulty and not worth sh**!

Around high noon on Friday last, after a festive few days in Sin City, I hopped onto the on-ramp and was homeward bound to the West Coast and the "Big Bad Orange" (or so I thought).

Suddenly, as I was breezing along with the flow of traffic about twenty miles out of the Desert Oasis, I felt my Ford Mariner pulling to the left a bit.

Coincidentally, an off-ramp for a parkway was just coming up on my right, so I scooted off the freeway and into an ARCO station to get a fix on the dilemma I was facing.

Just shy of the gas pumps, I slowly pulled up to a curb; then, trotted out to inspect the rear of the vehicle.

Damn!

A flat tire on my rear left tire was glaring back at me in the sweltering mid-day sun.

I was inclined to pull forward under one of ARCO's canopies (there was one overhang for each set of gas pumps strategically placed here-'n-there about the lot) to ensure I'd be in the shade when I began the arduous task of changing the wobbey-gone tire.

But, I surmised (rightly so) that if I did - the attendant at the gas station would end up being pi**ed at me - if I interfered with the flow of ARCO customers or got in their way.

Subsequently, I pulled off my T-shirt under a pastel blue sky, and began the task at hand with the sun mercilessly beating down on me.

With manual in hand, I began to go through the necessary steps, with the express hope that I would soon be trundling on down the busy highway home.

Within minutes, the first problem reared its ugly head, though.

The instruction booklet led me to believe that the jack for the spare-tire-maneuver was under the false bottom in the boot of the SUV.

However, after I spent about ten minutes extracting all my personal effects from the storage space in the back of the vehicle - and rustling up a little sweat in the process - it became apparent that was not the case.

Upon further inspection, I determined the nifty-looking little gadget, was neatly folded up cute as-a-button in a side panel under an upholstered camouflage.

Once I located the elusive little devil, a new problem arose, however.

The jack was so perfectly tucked away into the small crawl space, I had difficulty rescuing it from its hiding place!

At long last, after wrestling with it a bit, it sprung free.

However, another glitch tested my mettle for a second or two, before the spare tire removal was finally underway.

Yup!

Undoubtedly, I'd soon be rubbing my hands in glee.

After all, the mere thought of being able to change a tire on my lonesome - without the professional assistance of the Auto Club or an experienced Tow Truck driver with a hitch of his own - greatly appealed to me.

Drats!

Another little snafu ended up turning my plans asunder.

Unfortunately, after I slipped off the flat tire, I was unable to jack up the car high enough to align the spare with the lug-nut openings on the frame of the wheel!

Talk about screwed!

Now, I was sweating like a hog - a tad exasperated - and breathing kind of heavy.

In spite of the unexpected hurdle strewn across my path, I continued to tackle the dilemma head on.

Suddenly, a young woman (mid-30's) who had driven up out-of-the-blue with a man in tow (about the same age) and three rambunctious kids trailing behind, strolled over and offered her help.

"You need a better jack," she piped up matter-of-fact.

At this juncture, the petite blond opened the trunk of her own vehicle, and stridently tossed out the contents onto the pavement in a search of her tire-changing apparatus.

Once in hand, she stepped past me and started to crank away!

I turned to her male companion at the rear of their late-model auto and put a question to him straight off.

"Sir, is this woman your wife?"

"Yes, she is," he calmly replied.

"Dude, you are a very lucky man!"

"I know," he responded without hesitation as a wide grin spread across his face.

As he tended the children - who were getting downright restless (and obviously annoyed with me for interrupting their outing with their parents) - his wife and I applied a little elbow grease and a lot of her mechanical know-how to the task at hand.

Within ten minutes or so the two of us managed to raise up the Mariner to a height to effect the tire change with ease, or so we thunk!

But, it was not to be!

As much as we struggled to inch up the rear end a fraction or so for the necessary clearance, it was a no go.

Imagine that!

Her jack ended up being shy of what we needed to facilitate the change-over, too.

"Time to call Bob," she barked out.

With a flick of her wrist, the feisty little gal (pretty by the way) had her uncle on the cell promising to head over straight-away.

True to his word, the strapping dude - about 6' 3" - roared up in his 4X4 about five or six minutes later - at which point - the three of us commenced with a new plan of action.

Needless to say, the SUV was finally propped up to a level where the emergency tire could be slipped on without difficulty - and likewise - installed with little more fuss or muss.

Whew!

After utilizing three jacks during the course of a very sweaty exasperating hour, the SUV was up-and-running and ready to hit the mountain trail for the two-hundred-fifty-mile trek back home.

Once I was safely back in Los Angeles, though, I made a vow to dial up the Ford Motor Company and give those executives a piece of my mind!

Rightly so!

In retrospect, in view of the nightmare I went through that day, I have to seriously wonder if the engineers at Ford ever bothered to "test drive" their jack on the open highway by the side of the road in a mock-up of a "break down" scenario, for starters.

In view of my ghastly experience - evidently - not!

In spite of the fact I was parked on fresh pavement with a flat surface under the best of "road conditions", the car jack was unable to perform the function it was designed to do by engineers at Ford.

Imagine if I had been on the side of a four-lane highway trying to change the tire on loose uneven shoulder with cars whizzing by at top-notch speed.

What a traumatic experience that would have been!

In my estimation, FORD owes me a personal apology for subjecting me to that disturbing emotional ordeal, which arose by virtue of a poorly-designed product at Ford which plainly doesn't work.

But, bottom line?

FORD must recall that car jack immediately - or in the alternative - offer to replace the one installed in each Ford Mariner SUV with a better-designed one that has the capacity to facilitate tire-changing safely (and promptly) on the freeways and byways of America without fail.

Wouldn't you agree?

Maybe I should switch to an air jack?

http://www.julianayrs.com

Marcia Clark...plastic surgery?



Does this old frizzie-top look familiar?


Botox Babe emerges after racking in OJ Bucks!



Uh-huh!

As they say in Tinseltown, "she" must have had work done.

In the scenario above, the plastic surgeons must have filled in the cracks (which were forming a distinctive road map all the way to the bank) - with a heavy-duty cement mixer!

I'm referring to old frizzie top - former OJ prosecutor Marcia Clark - of course.

Where emotions once rippled freely across an honest open face, now a taut expressionless mask peers back eerily, by virtue of a pound or two of Botox.

In addition, a coiffed "do" (blow-dried to perfection) has sent her former skitzoid hairstyle - once rife with independent split ends (a-la Nichole Kidman) blowing in the wind this way 'n that at whim - packing.

Phony is, as phony does, so - the helmet will suffice!

Frankly, I thought that Clark was a little brainier than all that.

Not!

Christopher Darden's partner in botched criminal prosecution turned out to be just another bimbo babe out to sell her soul for big bucks on the night-time trash-talk-show circuit.

Check book journalism at its finest, you betcha!

Just ask Harvey Levin!

http://www.julianayrs.com


The Big Lebowski...screening @ the Hollywood Outdoor Cinema! Dudes, catch it July 25th...



The Dude translates well in the Romantic Languages, too!




Big Lebowski fans may want to mark their calendar!

On Saturday July 25th, the cult classic starring Jeff Bridges (the Dude!) will be screening at the Hollywood (almost free) Outdoor Cinema in Silver Lake (CA).

Parking lot turnstiles open @ 7:30.

$10 smackeroos a hot ticket.

Of course, I became a big fan of the Coen Brothers flick about eighteen months ago, when I started attending screenings at the INSOMNIAC CINEMA locally at the Regency Theatre in the Fairfax District.

All the hoopla and midnight madness (!) inspired me to log the festive events thereafter.

In fact, on the heels of the first raucous screening, I penned the 1st post on the subculture phenomena - and due to ongoing Lebowski-ite demand - the updates have persisted in their quirky madcap way to this day.

Post: 11/05/07

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2007/11/big-lebowskifans-storm-theatre-time-for.html

Then, webmasters at the Dude's (Jeff Bridges) nifty site contacted to inform me that plans were underway fo a regular podcast spotlighting "The Big Lebowski", the dedicated fan base, and Lebowski Festivals that have been springing up around the country.

Post: 02/28/09

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2009/02/big-lebowskipodcast-up-and-running-dude.html

Guess who's touting "the Dude" - and his motley crew - on the podcast site this month in response to a Lebowski fan questionnaire that was fielded the die-hard fan's way?

Moi, of course duderenos!

Check the website out, eh?

http://lebowskipodcast.com




Sunday, July 19, 2009

Barack Obama...Mom jeans sissy up ball park! Butch it up, Mr. Prez...



When Barack Obama scrambled on the field this past week in his Mom jeans to pitch the first ball of the game, a few viewers at home were probably chuckling.

In fact, I think I overheard one baseball fan yell at the screen:

Butch it up, you pansy!

Yup - "one size fits all" - tends to separate the men from the boys.

A few reporters on the sidelines were no doubting reminiscing about a former U.S. President who was truly a "man's man".

The dialogue went something like this in the dugout.

"I knew John F. Kennedy. He's no JFK!"

I surmise that Barack either slipped on a pair of Michelle's jeans by mistake in an early-morning fog - or just maybe - his valet forgot to pick up his Calvin's from the cleaners the night before.

No use airing dirty laundry in public now.

Barack should have given the momentous appearance a little more thought, though.

After all, this American pastime tends to be one of the butchest sports here and abroad.

The way a player's pants hug the butt - and accent the fly-line at the crotch - speaks volumes about the studliness of the man.
'Ya know?

Barack's nambie-pambie dash onto the mound was bit - nellie - wouldn't you say?

I have a suggestion for the Prez in the event he wants to butch up his act a tad.

In Hollywood, actors are enrolling in classes specifically geared toward developing a macho persona for any fella a bit too light in the heels when it comes to scoring in the leading man arena.
Maybe the Democrat's handlers could arrange for a workshop or two?

After all - in many respects politics is a lot like acting - isn't it?

Does the name Ronald Reagan ring a bell?


Macho stance with hint of a bulge piquing sexual curiosity preferable!

 
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