Harry Potter...naked Equus stint inspires dong parties!

Check out surprise nude shot at: http://www.julianayrs.com

News out of the "Big Apple" is that Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter) is piquing a lot of curiosity over his risque acting role in Equus where he appears nightly on stage - as the snotty English blokes would snarl - starkers.

The last stint in Equus - and the raft of nude stills that splashed onto the Internet worldwide in its wake - inspired die-hard fans to toss "Dong" parties for their pretty poster boy on campuses around the country.

I trust the trend will continue.

Don't forget your "rubbers" and "play safe".

Belmont Cafe...trendy eatery with surprise guests! West Hollywood.

The Belmont Cafe - at 747 N. La Cienega - is one of those chic little boites just a hop-and-a-skip away from trendy Melrose Avenue.



Usually - there is a swirl of social activity out front - as glittering celebs and a handful of the tony elite purr up in their pricey top-of-the-line autos where a sharp brigade of smartly-attired Valets are ready to do their bidding.


Not to be outdone - a hair's breath away - a pack of hungry photographers jockey for position. If the professional snappers are lucky, they'll snag a candid shot of an A-list actor as he alights from his vehicle or returns later a bit tipsy.

Last evening as I strolled through the gauntlet on the bustling street in front of the upscale eatery, by chance, I happened to gaze up.

Ha! I spied a hilarious sign that would cause Jay Leno to chortle, for sure.

It read,

"We have crabs."

Golly!

Remind me not to sit on the toilet seat in their mensroom in the future, please!

Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie...baby photos sell for $11 mil. Pimping, a turn off!

Gee, we made out like bandits, didn't we?


In the final days of Angelina Jolie's pregnancy, the media was in a feeding frenzy.

In fact, the hysteria was at a fever pitch.

Frankly - were I Ms. Jolie - it is doubtful that I could spread my legs for the arrival with the whole world gazing on!

Then, in the wake of the much-ballyhooed birth (Indian women squat in the field, bear the child, and go back to work for heaven's sake with little or no fuss) the press was a-buzz with speculation about the precious baby photos.

What? They'd be auctioned off to the highest "bidder"?

What a shocking notion.

Surely, both Brad and Angelina earn enough from their respective careers, that they don't have to pimp and turn their flesh and blood into baby whores!

Granted, today the press was awash with news that the staggering sums garnered for the publication rights would be donated to UNICEF.

Even still, the whole scenario was tawdry.

So, the young tots have been thrust into the media circus now - and likewise - are to be gobbled up by a ruthless self-serving lot in the arena of celebrity.

If you ask me, the Pitts should have "hired" a photographer to document the birth of the babies; then, distributed a couple of the candid shots to the mainstream press - lovingly.

Eda J. Le Shan once said,

"A new baby is like the beginning of all things - wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities."

The Pitts turned the joyous possibility into a money-making proposition that was ugly.

Yoko Ono..."Wish Trees" exhibition to unveil at Armory Arts Center! August 2nd. Pasadena.

Yoko Ono's latest conceptual art exhibition is being unveiled tomorrow at the Armory Center for the Arts in Pasadena, California.

Titled - "Wish Tree" - the display consists of twenty-one living crape myrtle trees installed amongst the café tables and chairs in the Courtyard at the center.


Gallery enthusiasts are urged to attend and participate by writing wishes on pieces of paper and hanging them on the branches of the trees.

A group of childcare providers from "CULTURAL CARE AU PAIR" - along with local children - will attend the opening festivities which are slated for August 2nd at 2 p.m. at One Colorado Courtyard.

Yoko Ono was a celebrated artist in her own homeland, Japan, long before she met her former husband John Lennon.

In fact, Ono and Lennon first met at one of her controversial art exhibits.

One of the conceptual artworks consisted of a ladder that led up to a plaque posted on the ceiling above.

As John was strolling through the art work, he happened across the piece - and without hesitation - climbed the ladder to get a gander at the message hanging above beyond reach.

Lennon's response captivated Yoko - at which point - a bond was struck.

A passionate love affair followed.

Die-hard Beatle fans accused Yoko Ono of interfering with John's relationship with the other band members - and ultimately - for being responsible for the break-up of the fab four.

But, Mr. Lennon quickly put that rumor to bed. The Beatles were allegedly kaput before the Japanese artist sauntered into the picture.

The Lennons resided at the Dakota apartment complex in downtown Manhattan.

John was content to play "house daddy" with the kids, while Yoko handled the family holdings (which were considerable and comprised partly of prize cows!)

During one break-up - it was quickly evident to family, friends, and the media alike - that John was hopelessly in love with Yoko.

While they were apart briefly - he wore his heartache on his sleeve - showing up drunk and unruly at local pubs (once with a "kotex" plastered on his forehead) and often sniping at anyone and everyone within his reach.

More often than not, while in an inebriated state, he picked fights with other patrons, too.

Once the "love birds" reunited, the happy duo continued on in a happy nurturing relationship, until his untimely death.

Ono was a member of Fluxus - a Dada-inspired group of avant-garde artists - that developed in the early 1960s.

George Maciunas, the founder - was not only a friend of Ono's - but admired her work and promoted it non-stop.

But, John Cage was one of the most important influences on Ono's performance art, allegedly.

Ichiyanagi Toshi (who was a pupil of John Cage’s legendary class of Experimental Composition at the New School) was the fellow artist who introduced her to the unconventional neo-Dadaism of Mr. Cage and his protégés in New York City.

Imaginative Ono launched loft shows at her studio at 112 Chambers Street.

The Chambers Street series hosted some of Ono’s earliest conceptual artwork including the infamous - "Painting to Be Stepped On" - which was a scrap of canvas on the floor that became a completed artwork upon the accrual of footprints.

The idea of a work of art on the floor - instead of mounted on a wall - caused quite a stir within the realms of traditional art circles

Ono's art (non-art, some say) was a synthesis between John Cage's Zen-influenced musical ideas - which incorporated silence and natural sounds - to the earthier work of long-time associate artist Maciunas.

Moreso, than the others in her circle, Ono was anxious to shock.

And, cross the line, whenever possible.

"Every artist is a conceptual artist. I'm a con artist," she joked.

Ono's Japanese contemporary - Yayoi Kusama - also influenced the style and substance of her musings.

Some contend that Kusama's displays of nudity may have inspired the front cover of the Two Virgins record where Yoko and John pose naked.

Kusama was also an organizer of pacifist events similar to Ono and Lennon's "bed-in" interviews.

"Wish Trees" was inspired by a childhood memory.

In an interview recently, Ms. Ono noted that when she was a young girl in Japan, it was a tradition to write wishes on paper and tie them with ribbons to the branches of trees.

"From a distance, they looked like blossoms," she poignantly recalled.

What a beautiful thought!

Hillary Clinton...subtle push out the door! VP dream fades into oblivion...

The shadow knows...

If Hillary can't read the writing on the wall, then maybe she needs to stop in to a local gypsy to get a load of the score.

Pundits are snidely noting behind her back that there are ominous signs the VP ticket has most assuredly eluded her grasp. In fact, many are speculating that Obama's dream team is about to subtly usher the former Presidential hopeful out the back door.

Former Clinton aides have confirmed that Bill's better half is tentatively scheduled to speak on the second night of the Democratic National Convention, for instance.

Ouch!

Talk about a stake in the heart!

In the best case scenario a potential running mate is normally slated to rev up the Dems at a glittering gala on "opening night".

Notwithstanding the obvious, there are other potent signs that she's getting the "heave ho".

The Obama campaign has not asked Hillary to furnish financial records or personal background materials normally requested to single out potential Vice Presidential nominees.

Well, there could be two reasons for the latter.

They know Hillary is "broke", for one. Hapless Hill went bust trying to break bread with the "old boys network", if you recall.

On the other hand, maybe they've opted to forgo on that formality; after all, they'd want 'em in the near future, not around "doomsday".

No matter how you slice it, looks like Senator Clinton will be eating humble pie come fall!

Medical Marijuana...Appellate Court rules in favor of State "compassionate use" Law!

The Fourth District Court of Appeal for the State of California issued a published opinion on the heels of a ruling this past week stating that federal law does not preempt the state's medical marijuana law.

The County of San Diego filed a suit against the State of California in February (2006) which challenged the validity of the State identification card program as well as the foundation of California's medical marijuana laws.

In the final scenario, both lower and appellate courts found that the ID card program and State Law remained valid and do not violate the State Constitution.

"This is a huge win for medical marijuana patients, not only in California, but across the country," said Joe Elford (Chief Counsel for ASA) who argued before the appellate court on behalf of medical marijuana patients.

"This ruling makes clear the ability of states to pass medical marijuana laws with an expectation that those laws will be upheld by local and state, if not federal, officials."

Justice Alex McDonald wrote the "Opinion" - which was supported unanimously - by all the Jurists on the bench.

The court ruled that the Federal Controlled Substances Act (CSA) "signifies Congress's intent to maintain the power of states to elect - 'to serve as a laboratory in the trial of novel social and economic experiments without risk to the rest of the country' - by preserving all State laws that do not positively conflict with the CSA.

Americans for Safe Access (ASA) defended the interests of patients in the appeal and filed briefs along with the ACLU Drug Law Reform Project. Both organizations successfully intervened as defendants in the lawsuit in August (2006) while the case was still being litigated in the Superior Court.

ASA intends to launch an educational campaign soon that will apprise elected officials across the state of their obligation to implement state law, in particular the state ID card program, which both assists law enforcement and bestows greater protection for patients.

San Diego County was originally joined by San Bernardino and Merced Counties - but later Merced chose not to appeal - opting instead to implement the state ID card program and a Sheriff's policy on medical marijuana patient encounters.

Against the wishes of the San Diego City Council, the County of San Diego filed an appeal in February (2007) along with San Bernardino County.

The City of San Diego voiced its disapproval of the legal action by filing an amicus - "friend of the court brief" - siding with the Attorney General and medical marijuana patient advocates.

"More than eleven years after the passage of Proposition 215, it's about time that we all got on the same page with regard to medical marijuana and the protections afforded by California law," Elford lamented.

"With two Appellate Court decisions clearly stating that Federal Law should not be an excuse to avoid enforcing State Law, it is now time for full implementation in California."

Obviously, the courts are getting the message loud and clear, too.

In the recent past, the California Supreme Court denied a review of another appeal - "City of Garden Grove v. Superior Court" - in a case where the lower court found the State's medical marijuana law was not preempted by federal law.

Lindsay Lohan...lesbo? Chief Bratton sullies color of authority by alleging so!

Rainbow colors hint at sexual persuasion...


Lesbians around the country were obviously titillated this morning when they opened their morning daily to read Lindsay Lohan allegedly turned gay!

The revelation popped out of the mouth of Chief William Bratton at an inaugural meeting for a task force of elected officials, law enforcement leaders, and others seeking to regulate what they perceive as frenzied irresponsible conduct by the local paparazzi whenever they are in search of their celebrity targets.

Yes, the heated debate is revving up once again.

Although singer John Mayer and actor Eric Roberts turned up ready to toss their two cents worth in, Chief Bratton was ready to call it a day.

In fact, he declared the ballsy effort a farce!

"If you notice, since Britney started wearing clothes, Paris is out of town and not bothering anybody anymore, thank God, and evidently Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don't seem to have much of an issue."

In sum - he argued that existing laws were sufficient to curb the lens hounds - but not before accusing "misbehaving stars" of being the cause of ninety-percent of the problem.

And, he pointed an accusing finger at City Councilman Dennis P. Zine, for needlessly fanning the flames.

Zine was quick to a throw a deft one-two punch back!

"They (paparazzi) act like a pack of wolves stalking their prey. What we're trying to do is prevent a tragedy from happening."

Then, he zeroed in on Bratton for acting inappropriately under the color of authority.

In fact, the irate politician has asked the Police Commission to investigate Bratton's comments about Lohan's alleged sexual orientation. In support of his complaint, he noted for the record that any regular police officer on the force would be investigated and possibly disciplined for making such an outlandish remark while on the City payroll.

Bratton countered by lamenting that controlling the paparazzi was like trying to "herd cats".

Maybe that's why the focus on Lohan's pu**y came to the fore.

Still waiting to hear from Lindsay's camp!


Pack of Wolves howl at celebrity's door...

Hillary...guess who's coming to dinner?

Yesterday, I received a curious e-mail from Bill Clinton inviting me to dinner - provided I cough up five smackeroos - of course!

But, I found the body of the message perplexing.

In it, Bill quipped,

"During the campaign, Hillary and I didn't have the chance to eat together much because we were usually on the trail in different states. Now that the campaign's over, I'm glad we can share more meals again."

But - if we're to take a cue from the family portrait they sent along (captioned above) - it's apparent the Clintons are going through an identity crisis.

So, I'm zipping off a publicity still to remind 'em both, who they truly are!

Scarlet Bill and slick Hill ...

Enzo G. Castellari...celebrates birthday at screening of "Inglorious Bastards". Film actors Bo Svenson and Fred Williamson on hand to sign autographs!

The theatre was testosterone-charged!

Fans - mostly young males under thirty-five - whooped, hollered, and stomped their feet roundly - as the thrilling non-stop action in two of Enzo G. Castellari films (Inglorious Bastards and Battle Squadron) unfolded on the screen.

And, to the delight of die-hard film buffs - the respected Italian Film Director was on hand - to chat up the fans, answer queries, and sign a newly-released DVD packaged under the Severn Films label.

When I arrived at the New Beverly Cinema around 6:45, a line of excited filmgoers was already snaking down the block, in spite of the fact the doors would not swing open until 7:30. And, by the time the curtain fell, there was not a seat left in the house.

The popular director, who was celebrating his birthday, was wowed by the turn-out.

"It's so great to see so many young faces here."

Two of the lead actors - Bo Svenson and Fred Williamson - signed autographs and offered up some behind-the-scenes trivia.

Fred jokingly quipped,

"I came because I wanted you all to see how great I look."

The audience howled.

"There's nothing hanging down anywhere that shouldn't be hanging down," he joked.

Bo, a little more low key, noted that he was thrilled to attend because Mr. Castellari impacted his life both creatively and otherwise.

"He taught me Grace," Bo added humbly.

During the course of the night when I had the opportunity to get up-close and personal with a question or two, I was wowed by the man's vigor.

And, of course, his charismatic presence.

Last evening Mr. Castellari wore an elegant black suit (Italian?) with a well-coordinated dress shirt open at the collar.

One young man in the audience asked the legendary director if he could provide any advice for talent starting out in the field.

"Get experience," he commanded.

On the heels of this worthwhile advice, he noted that he came up through the ranks.

"I brought coffee to this person. Moved a chair over for that one."

Working as an assistant director was a good idea, he stressed.

"In Italy it is difficult now to produce a film. So much politics. Unless you are the son of an official. Then, yes. you'll get the chance. But no one will go to see the movie," he chuckled.

He hinted at the need for "confidence" in one's abilities and that there must be a base of knowledge to back up choices.

"When you say - 'place the camera here' - that is the big moment."

There was a bit of scuttlebutt about the differences between filmmaking in America and Italy.

Bo Svenson, for instance, noted that sound was never recorded on the set.

"There were so many distractions. While you're acting in a scene, someone is asking the person next to you if they want an espresso. Activity on the set continues during filming, unlike Hollywood."

I recall the ritual, vividly. Once the bell rings on the sound stage - and the assistant director calls out - "Quiet on the set" - no one utters a word.

Not in Italy!

Bo noted that looping later in the studio was not a process he hankered to.

"I prefer the spontaneity. The magic of the moment when the scene is being captured on film."

Distractions can be upsetting to some actors where the "eye line" is concerned.

Years ago - on the set of "Black Moon Rising" - I recall actor Tommy Lee Jones "going off" when an Executive standing on the sidelines twitched (!) and spoiled his concentration when he was emotionally involved in a scene.

Joan Collins is another who prefers no movement around the peripheral when she is working on-camera. On the set of a "Dynasty Reunion" - I was standing in the wings and caught her eye - but avoided her wrath somehow. When she noticed me a few feet away - instead of calling the A.D. to haul my butt out of there - she gave me an approving glance up-and-down and carried on.

Whew!

In Italy, it appears, you fly by the seat of your creative pants!

When the first feature flickered up on the silver screen I was inclined to let the storyline unfold. But, within minutes, I found myself sitting up and paying very close attention to Mr. Castellari's celluloid offering.

Clearly, a deft capable hand was at the helm!

From the get-go, Castellari's innate ability to draw the filmgoer into the action in a seamless - almost magical way - was evident.

There was a subtlety to the "set ups", too. In fact, each frame of celluloid was carefully crafted, a work of visual art.

Elsewhere on the canvas, Bo Svenson strode through the landscape, a virile manly presence capable of carrying the film.

Fred Williamson's machismo was also appealing - but, it was often his risk-taking in comic moments - that grabbed the audience and caused them to cheer from below the floodlights.

Hats off to the New Beverly Cinema for providing a high-energy night of satisfying entertainment!

Beijing...fudged on smog data! Faces scorn of world...

A week ago - I reported on Beijing's last-ditch efforts to curb smog in anticipation of the upcoming Olympics - by shutting-down factories, limiting the number of vehicles on the road, and so forth and so on.

But, the surge forward to clean up the environment has been to no avail, according to reports out of Beijing over the past forty-eight hours.

A huge cloud of smog still hangs thick and ominous over the horizon - obscuring the dazzling new superstructures built to impress the world - and posing a potential threat to Athletes due next week to participate in the games.

In fact, Olympic Officials have expressed their concerns that the quality of air is less than standard and may be a hazard to the health.

A Greenpeace Campaign Director - Lo Sze Ping - blamed the bad air on what he characterized as a - "develop first, clean up later" - approach by the Chinese Government which has obviously backfired.

Meanwhile, over the weekend, it was reported that smog around the Stadium is "unhealthful for sensitive groups".

The Chinese Government - which won the games on the provisio the environment would be "cleaned up" for the Olympic Festivities - has issued a statement in which they flatly allege they have reached their commitment to make sure the air quality is satisfactory for the Games.

Beijing Environmental protection official (Du Shaozhong) asserted to the press in recent days that seventy-percent of the days were able to boast acceptable levels of pollution or an improvement over last year's figures by twenty percent.

However, some are pointing fingers at the data, and accusing Chinese Officials of fudging the figures.

For instance, Steve Q. Andrews - a U.S. Environmental Consultant (who analyzed Beijing's figures) - alleges that two air monitoring stations in congested parts of the downtown sector were dropped from the Government's calculations for the air pollution index and substituted for monitors in the outskirts of the city.

Notwithstanding this kind of obvious skullduggery, those in-the-know claim that China does not even measure ground-level ozone levels which are a major component of smog, according to scientists in the field.

Andrews got a little ballsy and griped,

"They are manipulating the way they measure and what they measure so much that you cannot say the air quality is improving."

As athletes vow to wear masks during the games, China has been forced to look into novel ways to clear the air. For one, they are exploring the idea of artificially inducing rainstorms to dissipate the smog.

In the final analysis, it all appears to boil down to Karma, in my estimation.

Until China stops violating "Human Rights" and denying Monks "Freedom of Speech", and being "negligent" about the environment, their country will continue to face the wrath of God by virtue of floods, famine, earthquakes, poison air, and the like.

China must commence with a spiritual cleansing now - and pray, ultimately, for forgiveness - or face continued ongoing hardships to her detriment and well-being as a Nation.

What do they say?

Confession is good for the soul!

Big-Budget Disaster film...slated for fall release!

On the heels of the morning jitters here in Hollyweird and a raft of unrelenting wild fires that swept out-of-control in recent days throughout California, one of the major studios has hatched the idea of producing a big-budget disaster film based on two box-office hits - "Earthquake" and "Towering Inferno".

The project slated for release in the fall is tentatively titled:

"Shake & Bake"

Ah, gotcha!

Earthquake update...5.8 magnitude shaker centered near Chino Hills!

Devastating effects of Northridge Earthquake!

News reports are now filtering in.

The earthquake that struck at approximately 11:43 a.m. has been determined to be a preliminary magnitude of 5.8.

At my location in Beverly Hills, the shaking was quite violent.

When the tumbler hit, I was in the public library surrounded by a number of frightened patrons at the public facility.

I guess people were perplexed about what to do, at first.

When the shaking did not subside in a second or two (but grew in magnitude instead) and persisted in jolting the building violently - many let out little cries - then darted out the front door with the assistance of the capable library staff.

I struggled to pop off a news flash onto the Internet, but within seconds, my hands were shaking so much that I was having trouble typing on the keyboard.

According to online news reports, the quake shook buildings in downtown Los Angeles and was felt as far south as San Diego and as far east as Palm Desert.

"The quake was centered near Chino Hills," noted one spokesperson at the United States Geological Survey.

In spite of that, Los Angeles was seriously impacted.

Construction workers walked off a site concerned about safety and their well-being.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger was inclined to activated the "Office of Emergency Services" when he learned about the width and breadth of it.

As of 12:45 p.m, there have not been any reports of injuries.

But, the Stanley Mosk Courthouse on Grand Avenue was evacuated as a precautionary measure. Security officials said they expect the building to reopen early this afternoon.

The Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors were in a closed session at the time of the earthquake but did not suspend their meeting apparently. Hopefully, they were all under their desks out of harm's way.

The quake interrupted a City Council meeting. Undoubtedly, when the 27-story City Hall building began to sway, officials realized the urgency of taking cover.

Apparently Councilman Zine cried out, "Earthquake! Earthquake".

Another quipped, "It's still happening".

I know the feeling.

At the library, where I was returning books, people were paralyzed with fear - unable to take action - so shocked were they by the powerful momentum of it.

Believe it or not, Orange County also rocked 'n rolled.

"It's the first time in my life I actually got under my desk," said Anaheim Police Sgt. Ken Seymour, who has lived in Southern California his whole life.

"It's too early to tell if there's any major damage but all units are checking overpasses, bridges and tall buildings," he said.

The last occasion I felt so awestruck by the force of an Earthquake was when the Northridge Earthquake struck in 1994.

At about four o'clock in the morning, I suddenly felt a large jolt against the side of the building.

What was that?

Then, the bed shook violently, as dishes rattled and floorboards creaked.

Earthquake!

Normally, we're such a jaded lot here on the West Coast. After all, a new year barely flutters by without a little earth rattling now and then. Normally, Californians just roll over and slip back into dreamland.

But, on the Richter scale, this one was a staggering 6.8.

I was renting an apartment in a New-York-style walk up fashioned in old rugged bricks.

No retrofit, of course.

So, of course, when the tumbler "hit", it felt like an airplane had smashed into the five-storey building. Yes, there was a lot of creaking and groaning goin' on, as the foundations seemed to give way.

As I peered out the window, the lights around Los Angeles systematically shut down - in what amounted to a domino effect - as far as the eye could see.

I scrambled out of bed naked - yes I slumber in the nude - but had difficulty getting my bearings in the pitch black that had fallen all around. As I searched for my pants and my keys and a flashlight - it suddenly dawned on me why it is often hammered into residents to be earthquake prepared.

The next time (!) I'll have a handy little kit packed away in a safe place primed and ready-to-go - with candles, matches, flashlight, and emergency water - you name it!

When I managed to locate a few stitches of clothing, I stumbled to the door - but a sturdy oak bookcase and a number of leafy plants which had smashed to the floor - were blocking the exit. After a few minutes, I managed to squeeze my way through into the pitch black hallway.

Not a soul in site.

To make matters worse, the emergency doors had sprung shut and the elevators had automatically shut down.

I headed for the back stairwell barefoot and cried out in pain when sharp edges of broken plaster bit into my flesh.

Throughout the ordeal, I did not encounter anyone.

When I stepped out into the street - people were huddled in near hysteria on the sidewalk - scantily-clad in skimpy nighties, boxers, and the like. A couple of neighbors were frantically listening to the radio for an update on the quake.

The newscasters were reporting that Los Angeles was hit by a devastating quake centered in Northridge.

At this point, I realized my "lovebirds" had been left behind upstairs. Against protests from acquaintances, I dashed back into the crumbling building to rescue them from their perch in the kitchen.

Later that morning - we were notified by the Manager that the dwelling was red-tagged - unsafe to inhabit. All the tenants were forced to seek emergency shelter or turn to family and friends for assistance.

Northridge itself was shattered by the event.

Three-story buildings were turned into pancakes, freeway bridges were downed, and there were - of course - a number of deaths.


Down the street in Hollywood proper, as I sauntered into a local cafe for a coffee, ubiquitous armed guards stood at the entrance to retail stores to prevent further looting which had been earlier curbed.

I felt like I was in Beirut or some war-torn place like that.

In the final analysis, Earthquakes are part 'n parcel of life in California.

Is the "big one" on the way?

You bet your sweet bippy...

'Til then, we continue on our merry way.

Shaken, but not stirred!

Note

The Federal Emergency Agency recommends that if you're indoors when a quake hits, you should take cover under a sturdy piece of furniture, cover your face, and stay away from glass and walls. If outdoors when the earth shifts, move away from buildings and streetlights and stay in an open space until the shaking stops. And, don't forget about potential aftershocks!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Earthquake rattles Los Angeles...11:45 a.m.

Just moments ago, the Beverly Hills Library was shaking violently due to an earthquake that has struck Los Angeles at approximately 11:45 a.m.

Patrons in the facility have reacted in shock in view of the fact the shaker has probably been on a large scale - yet unreported - but undoubtedly the biggest one to hit the Southern California area in recent days.

As I struggle to get this story out, Staff are beginning to herd the public out the front door.

Oh, boy! Now I feel some rocking and aftershocks!

Maybe I should get under a table?

Gosh, my hands and wrists are shaking so visibly that I can hardly type.

More later.

Julian

Beijing Olympics...Toronto blames Otis for losing bid for Games!

A couple of years back, I was up in Toronto visiting relatives, when the Olympic Committee was in town considering "Hog Town" for the site of the 2008 Olympics.

The Natives were restless, alright. After all, the competition was tough. In spite of that, T.O. made it to the short list.

At a time when one of Canada's largest metropolitan areas was seeking status as a "World Class City", fate dealt Mayor Mel Lastman a nasty blow.

While touring a facility in the downtown core, all the Officials got trapped in an elevator for thirty to forty-five minutes before a rescue crew saved 'em from the sweltering heat.

Although the Committee assured his honor that the mishap would not affect their vote, many swear to this day that the incident cost Toronto "the good" their bid for a shot at the gold ring.

To the elevator company, it was just about life's ups and downs.

To the residents of Toronto, it was Otis' fault for failing to provide the much-needed lift beneath their wings.

With all the brouhaha brewing over a boycott of the Olympics in Beijing - and likewise, the ensuing headaches - in retrospect, maybe the Committee wishes they took the stairs instead.

Authority...quote!

Give some people a little bit of authority
And they become drunk with power...

Julian Ayrs
The Daily Planet
Collection of Poems

Nastassja Kinski...attends screening of "Exposed" as James Toback holds court with Tarantino playing foil!

Rudolph Nureyev was hungry for at least three butch men a day, Harvey Keitel sequestered himself in his trailer in a deliberate attempt to totally "inhabit" his role, while Jim Brown stumbled over dialogue (ironically) crafted with his idiosyncrasies in mind.

Those were a few of the juicy tidbits filmgoers were treated to at a double-bill of "Fingers" and "Exposed" last night at the New Beverly Cinema.

Writer/Director James Toback essentially held court over the festive occasion as a high-spirited (at times mischievous) Quentin Tarantino played foil.

Nastassja Kinski almost slipped into the Theatre unnoticed, until someone spied her.

The fans were ecstatic!

The bill-of-fair was an intriguing mix.

In the earlier film - "Fingers" - a younger Harvey Keitel surprised me with a few moments on film which didn't ring quite true. But later - in "Exposed" - turned in a characterization that underscored his greatness as an actor.

Likewise, James Toback's celluloid offerings were a bit ragged, on occasion.

In the opening scene of "Fingers", for instance, Toback holds a "wide shot" for an excessively long few minutes, then pans in. Not before the trained professional senses there has been a slip-up, of sorts.

In fact - a handful of shots signaled his lack of experience behind the camera - at that juncture of his cinematic career. In a couple of the scenes, the set-ups were quite studied, for instance. Camera pans were quite noticeable, too. On occasion - I was distracted by the movement of the lens - which is generally not a "good sign".

When I asked Mr. Toback if he'd take a different approach to "Fingers" today - given the wealth of experience under his belt since the original release - curiously he noted he'd change scenes which happened to be those that jarred my own filmmaking sensibilities.

But, I have to admit, in - "Exposed" - he redeemed himself. The transitions there were smooth and seamless and allowed the audience to be drawn into the storyline naturally. The down-to-earth director also noted he was inclined to allow the actors to work comfortably within a framework (which was evident by a chord of truth that was struck).

Although from a technical and artistic viewpoint - "Exposed" was a more highly- polished project - there were too many distractions which ultimately derailed the film.


Rudolph Nureyev - cast as a love interest for Nastassja Kinski's character - was a hysterical notion, for example.

During the lively discussion - in fact - Quentin chided Toback about the choice. And, Toback confessed, it was problematic.

"Nureyev was such a flamboyant gay man. No overlooking it."

As to his acting, well!

In one scene he breaks into a young lady's apartment and she angrily confronts him. Instead of turning on his heel and making a normal exit, he simply swings open the door with one hand - steps backward a foot or so (still facing her, mind you) - then pulls the door closed with a deft flip of his wrist. That may have worked on stage - but on the wide screen - no way!

The audience cackled!

Toback's fans were titillated when he revealed the dancer's man-size appetite for - well, um - men. And, they roared in disbelief when the easy-going director divulged that Rudolph slept with women, too.

Toback alleged that Nureyev slept with over three hundred women - if only because it was too difficult to say "no" - to 'em. Yeah, those sympathy fu**ks go a long way when it comes to selling ballet tickets!

There were revelations, too, about the underbelly of the "business".

After proudly noting to a backer that he had negotiated a deal for distribution of the film, the funder scolded him for getting involved in "matters" which were beyond his realm of involvement.

"To you it is a film. To me, it's a pair of shoes I'm selling to the highest bidder."

That was a rude awakening, 'fer sure!

Of course, Toback was quick to lament that "Exposed" was misunderstood when it was first released.

But, he was fast on the uptake.

"Jacqueline Kennedy 'got it'."
Allegedly, Jackie arranged for a private viewing of the film. At the end - unlike the others who hurled insults at the screen - the former 1st Lady gasped out loud and wept openly.

For me, it was a different reality.

I wondered inwardly - why is it that characters go to such great lengths in high-speed hair-raising car chases to track down and shoot their arch rival - then carelessly turn their backs on 'em before confirming they're dead as a doorknob?

You figure out the end scenario. A cop-out by a lazy writer?

Talk about Jim Brown - who appeared in a role that fit like-a-glove in "Finger" - garnered a wild raucous reaction from the audience.

There was a lot of scintillating gossip about drugs and orgies at Brown's digs, for instance.

"And, in the midst of the goings-on, it was disclosed that little Mike Tyson (all of eighteen) wrestled on the sidelines lapping it all up.
Funny that," laughed Toback. "With my documentary due out on Mike in February, it appears that after thirty years everything has come full circle."

Toback also joked about how frustrated he was at the time when Jim Brown's dailies came back and he was confronted with a "rotten tomatoes" performance that was stiff and unnatural.

Ironic, that!

The writer made copious notes - after observing Brown in conversation with friends, family, and hangers-on - to ensure he got the rhythm of the actor's speech patterns just so. Even still, Brown couldn't get a handle on the dialogue. Go figure!

As I strolled up to the lobby for a snack at intermission, I bumped into Ms. Kinski snapping up a soft drink and popcorn in anticipation of the second show.

When I queried her about potential acting projects on the horizon, she shrugged politely, and noted she's just a mom now with three children.

Not a bad accomplishment - at all - Nastassja.

But, in view of the luminous performance I witnessed on screen last night that captivated the audience, it's undoubtedly a great loss to the Cinema!

http://www.julianayrs.com

Federal "Shield" Law...Journalistic ethics separate wheat from chaff!

Interactive newsroom a wave of the future?


In the OPINION section of the Los Angeles Times, an attorney - Scott Gant - penned an article on the issues surrounding a proposed Federal "Shield" law geared towards protecting Journalists, their work product, and subsequent sources.

Mr. Gant noted that the Bush administration opposes the measure on the grounds that it would weaken law enforcement efforts and jeopardize National Security.

Baloney!

Currently, any reporter or news organization that refuses to cough up documents and information on the heels of a subpoena, may be fined, held in contempt of court, or tossed into jail.

Mr. Gant posed an intriguing question.

Who would fall under the protection of such a Statute?

The Washington legal eagle mused that by virtue of a proliferation of - bloggers, podcasters, and a myriad of fawning news outlets on the World-Wide-Web - that lawmakers would have to take a "stand".

To date, the House has defined Journalism as:

"The gathering, preparing, collecting, photographing, recording, writing, editing, reporting or publishing of news or information that concerns local, national or international events or other matters of public interest for dissemination to the public."

Understandably, under current thinking on the "Hill", due protections would be extended to those who "practise" journalism regularly and for a "substantial portion of the person's livelihood for substantial gain".

Would those who sell "gossip" be included?

Indeed - should the shield law be limited to so-called "professionals" - or be more inclusive to reflect a broader view of Journalism in the Internet age?

From there Gant took a giant leap and boldly asserted:

"The line distinguishing professional journalists from others who disseminate information, ideas, and opinions to a wide audience has been blurred."

He summed up by concluding:

"We're all capable of being Journalists now."

On the contrary!

Documentarians, perhaps. Journalists, no.

In my view - the distinction between a Journalist and one who "documents" and/or disseminates information - is crystal clear!

Journalists check their sources, for instance. And, verify their facts. Also, they endeavour to present a level playing field where both sides of the issues may be argued so the reportage is ultimately unbiased and balanced.

To quote the Detective from the old Dragnet series:

"Just the facts, man."

Notwithstanding, it should be noted that Journalists usually attend a College or specialized "learning institution" to "be educated" about - well, let's see - silly little concepts like ethics, rules of professional conduct, and standards in Journalism.

Oh yes, there may be a fine line between Journalists and those "others", to some.

To me, it's evident after perusing a few "news bites" on the Internet this morning, just how wide the "divide" is.

I found Mr. Gant's arguments not only self-serving but laughable and naive; in essence, he was reaching!

If anything, he has a skewered slant on things.

To boldly assert that the musings of a few - who dabble in social or political commentary on a personal blog or by podcast - are to be taken as legitimate Journalistic offerings is a ludicrous assertion by any stretch of the imagination.

Sir, there is an old saying:

"Consider the source."

Fortunately, there are a handful of true journalists who still carry the "torch" - and likewise - make every bold-faced effort to shed light in dark corners in a courageous pursuit of the truth.

Gee - maybe that's why we have Awards for outstanding accomplishment in Journalism - do 'ya figure?

Yes, to honor those who exemplify the epitome of standards and ethics in Journalism.

Citizens in the land of the alleged "free" should take every precaution to preserve - what to a handful - may appear to be a lofty ideal fading into oblivion.

Henry Anatole Grunwald once said:

"Journalism can never be silent: that is its greatest virtue and its greatest fault."

Barack Obama...creases in crotch require grooming tips!

Works every time on dress shirts, too!



If you saw the morning papers, you probably noticed all the "creases" in the crotch area of Barack Obama's slacks as he stood outside Downing Street chatting up England's Prime Minister.

Ah, this means one of two things.

Barack was either wearing "linen" slacks which crease at the drop of a hat (plunking down in an easy chair just once will do the trick) or has been sitting on his fanny too much chewing the fat with World Leaders overseas.

Fortunately for Barack, I am a former Men's Fashion Writer.

My column - "Dressing Right" - appeared in a Southam News daily.

Needless to say, I have a couple of handy grooming tips at my disposal to pass on.

Of course, Obama could take the easy way out. For example, he has only to "knock up" (English term for calling a bloke on the phone) the Concierge and ask that the Hotel cleaners give 'em a quick once over.

But, in view of the recent "prayer" episode in Jerusalem, maybe not such a good idea!

The Fleet Street rags would have their scumbag reporters all over those trousers - like flies on sh** - scouring the label for his designer, verifying the circumference of his waist and length of leg - and so on and so forth.

Well, there is a smart alternative!

Barack could tote a "compact" iron in his well-travelled suitcase. But - at "Customs" - that dandy little helper may be considered a bit fussy by onlookers (and a trifle "gay").

Wouldn't you say?

Besides, if Barack slips up and places the iron directly on the fabric, he'll end up with a shine in the seat of his pants! Who wants a glow coming up the rear?

Barack, just hang your slacks on a coat hanger on the shower curtain rod in the loo (English term for bathroom). Then, turn on the hot water full blast.

And, don't forget to tightly shut all the windows and doors!

In about twenty minutes, the designer duds will be steam-pressed, for free!

Ah, lucky for Barack, I'm pretty capable when it comes to pressing matters of State!

Maybe I should make a pitch for the illustrious role of "man's man"?

Or, would that be considered too "piss elegant" by American voters?

They're so touchy, 'ya know?


A little body sculpting may be in the offing too...

Elaine Knoles...scumbag "PI" terrorizes consumers and violates privacy rights!

Undoubtedly, a number of you are following the Pellicano case underway in the Los Angeles courthouse.

Mr. Pellicano is a private investigator who was hired by a disreputable individual to run interference against his enemies - sully their credibility and spread smut about them - with the ultimate aim of damaging their names and reputations.

And he used every trick in the book - including a handful of illegal ones - to accomplish that end.

He is currently on trial for alleged wiretapping, racketeering and other crimes.

This past week, there was a lot of testimony about a retired phone company technician - Rayford Turner - who is accused by the Government of having helped Pellicano with the wiretaps.

Teresa Wright (a former sales support manager at the phone carrier) divulged on the witness stand that she surreptitiously supplied Turner (a friend) with confidential information on people the government alleges Pellicano was wiretapping.

On the heels of this revelation, it was disclosed to the rapt Jury, that accessing that information without a valid service reason violated the phone company's code of ethics.

As Nixon henchmen would joke - "Pellicano "rat-f**ked" people, man."

All in a day's business for most private investigators.

When it comes to divorce cases, PI's are generally hired to sift through the dirty laundry.

You'll spy 'em lurking outside sleazy motel rooms in rattle-trap late model autos (picking their noses, no doubt) as they lay in wait for the incriminating "catch" - a revealing photo or some juicy tidbit - to aid in their client's scurrilous bidding. No holds barred.

Think - LA CONFIDENTIAL - and you'll get the idea.

Apparently - when a dispute between a top model and her ex-boyfriend struck frenzied peaks - a PI actually delved into garbage bins seeking DNA samples from items tossed in the bathroom trash. Yup, the stakes get high when high-profile careers and big bucks are involved!

According to my sources - car dealerships are notorious for hiring "Private Dicks" to track down vehicles that have gone astray after failed payments or disputes have arisen after a buyer determines the sellers unloaded lemons on 'em - or misrepresented the vehicle or financing details. You name it.

Oh, those folks are a nasty low-life gang of white-trailer trash, for sure.

Elaine Knoles - who uses the aka "Susan Holmes" - claims to be a licensed "Private Investigator" out of Trabuco Canyon in Orange County. Curiously, in spite of a thorough search on the Internet, this shadowy figure is difficult to pin down.

A review of the State's database of licensed investigators, for instance, doesn't turn up diddly squat.

Note: it has been confirmed that Ms. Knoles hasn't any State license.

Maybe, she's using the alias to distance herself from her outlandish unlawful antics?

If so - it would appear that in her twisted mind - she's under the wild impression that she's as keen at the art of detective work as the master Sherlock Holmes. Why else would she associate with the surname, Holmes?

With these demented losers, who knows!

If she's the "Susan Holmes" who posted a comment on a web site about her ability "to hide drugs" from the police, then maybe that's the answer in a nutshell. If the woman is an addict - her faculties may be so befuddled by the stupor - that the line has blurred between what is lawful and what is not.

Could it be that it's the sale of drugs that has afforded her the luxury of boasting ownership of a horse ranch in Trabuco Canyon? After all, it's difficult to fathom how a lowly agent for a repo agency manages to lay claim to such expensive digs. The spoils of her illegal pursuits? You figure it out.

Someone should take aim and upset her little apple cart because she's not only trampling on an individual's privacy - but oftentimes - viciously harassing and violating their rights in the process.

On one occasion, Ms. Holmes actually posed as a consumer's wife (he was single at the time) in a sneaky bold-faced effort to obtain his private phone records from the telephone company; then, proceeded to call the numbers on the billing statement to summarily slander and defame the unsuspecting individual to friends, family, and business associates.

Then, she disappeared into the woodwork, bragging about the mayhem she left in her wake.

Without any qualms, she's known to falsely allege that a person she's "tracking" is - homosexual or lesbian (whichever applies), taking drugs, carousing at gay (or straight) bars all night, ripping people off - whatever it takes to shock and demean is okay in her books.

In fact, it appears that she gets some kind of a perverse kick out of it, according to my sources.

While the attack is intended to defame - on occasion - she manipulates the cause to coerce a party into succumbing to demands - and ultimately - abandoning legitimate claims against her ensigns and employers.

Do her neighbours in Trabuco Canyon know what skullduggery she's up to when she slips out at night to to foist cars out from under unsuspecting citizens deep in slumber who are unaware of the evil that is about to descend upon them?

Her associates are prone to make outrageous threats, as well.

On more than one occasion, sources have informed me that callers at her behest, have hissed at startled victims,

"Unless you return the vehicle now a bounty hunter will track you down."

In fact - PI's often make menacing calls several times a day - in spite of the fact Consumer Protection Statutes specify that such conduct by debt collectors is unlawful.

And to think this kind of repulsive conduct is condoned by auto dealerships like Sunrise Ford (San Fernando Valley) and others in the Los Angeles area.

The film "Repo Man" wasn't far off in its depiction of the trade!

You'd think these establishments were run by the mob - and that at any given moment - burly guys in black suits with spaghetti on their ties might show up to break legs and bust heads.

Unfortunately, Ms. Knoles has been so clever at covering her tracks (and concealing her elusive whereabouts by deceitfully using aliases) that victims have been unable to bring legal action or lodge a complaint against her with State Officials who regulate the conduct of Private Investigators.

Understandably, the field is so poorly policed, that most of these degenerates get away with their harassment and what amounts to "Urban Terrorism".

Until now, that is.

A formal complaint was lodged against Ms. Knoles this past week with the State Attorney General's office and an investigation is pending.

It boggled my mind to learn friends of the parties being "chased down" had the audacity to answer phone calls from these flakes - and on occasion - disclosed intimate facts about their friends and family without hesitation. I'd show those "good buddies" the door!

Thereafter, Ms. Knoles and her henchmen used the private and confidential information to further their cause.

A handful of intelligent consumers have gotten wise over the years, have you?

Out of curiosity, I took a course for "Private Detective" work a few years back to get a take on the "industry".

What an eye-opening experience!

I was flabbergasted to learn what any bozo is capable of dredging up on the Internet with a few tools of the trade and some smarts at his or her fingertips.

The first place a skip tracer checks?

The voter's list of course; the info is a matter of public record and easy to obtain. Yeah, although you think you're doing your civic duty when you sign up each year to vote, you may be opening yourself up to the clever maneuverings of an ambitious bill collector, a stalker, or worse.

A suggestion?

Rent a mail box at the local post office. Then, use the secure mailing address for all records that filter into the public realm, so no prying eyes can act on 'em.

To avoid further scrutiny, be wary of signing up willy-nilly for subscriptions to newspapers and magazines. After all, it's a snap for an experienced PI to access those files, too.

Did you know that detailed financial information on mortgage papers are in the public domain as well? Granted, a person has to engage in a little savvy legwork at the Hall of Records to secure the data - but when bucks are involved - you bet your sweet bippy someone will be quick on the uptake.

After all - mortgage documents not only reveal the name of your bank - but your social security number and your marital status (among other things).

With this information, the PI can saunter off on another tangent; who knows, maybe access IRS records by their automated system or find out your last transaction from a credit report to fathom where you shop.

Then, use the info to lay in wait for you!

Seem preposterous?

Most of these pretentious d**ks are just small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. Once their victim coughs up the money - or they manage to snatch up the vehicle - they'll go their merry way.

But, shouldn't you take precautions for the future?

Tips

Use a Post Office Box to ensure your home address is confidential and out of the public record. For instance, direct mail for your Driver's License, credit card accounts, and bank statements to that location for security reasons. In the event you are out-of-town on holiday, or business, it may be lifesaver and bring you peace of mind to boot.

Use a voice mail number for applications, surveys on the street, and contests to avoid being the victim of thieves, spammers, and rip-off salesmen.

Use initials to signify your identity whenever possible - on subscriptions for e-mail newsletters, magazines, and the like - to protect gender info and throw off potential stalkers.

Use a secret code on your telephone account so no one can access your statement over the phone without your knowledge or permission.

Install a secret code on credit card accounts to prevent a review of your account without your authorization or knowledge.

Buy a "call display" screen device for your phone so you can verify the identity of a caller before you pick up. If you're out when a message was left - use reverse look-up (Internet Search) - before returning the call for further protection. If the number is not listed - and the caller claimed to be a business entity or service provider - be cautious. It may be a scam and/or a fraudulent attempt to "fish" for information.

And, finally, inform your family and friends not to give out personal and confidential information on the telephone to anyone - under any circumstances - without your permission first (no matter how tempting).

After all, protection starts at home...

Be wary of Micro cameras in belt buckles...