Sidney Poitier...shops at Whole Foods in Beverly Hills!

Poitier won Oscar for role in "Lilies of the Field"...


I headed over to the dairy section of the grocery to pick up a couple of items.

But, a man and a woman kibitzing alongside their respective carts, were blocking my way.

As I waited patiently for the sea to part, suddenly a distinctive voice fell like music upon my ears. As I glanced up, I found myself staring into the face of Oscar-winning actor, Sidney Poitier.

Imagine that! Mr. Poitier shops in person at Whole Foods in Beverly Hills.

In a tastefully tailored suit, no less!

As I snatched up a carton of milk, I said a quick hello, and was on my merry way.

If I had to describe the man, I'd say he's - elegant, handsome, charismatic, and - most importantly - humble.

A fine role model for any young man to look up to!

Beverly Hills Police Department...entraps motorists & shakes 'em down!

If you are familiar with the "flats" in Beverly Hills - you are no doubt aware that just north of Santa Monica Boulevard - there is a small lane that runs parallel a mile or so.

Gardeners and maids in the employ of upscale matrons in Beverly Hills - indeed, a handful of residents, too - often take a quick jaunt along the lane for a few blocks rather than face the daily onslaught of rush-hour traffic along the main strip.

However - every few blocks or so, posted signs note - that between the hours of 7 and 10 in the morning motorists are only permitted to make a "right" turn on a handful of streets.

Of course, this has not only caused some confusion for the locals - but visitors - too.

Because drivers are permitted to stop at the cross-street, check for traffic, then proceed down the lane for the better part of the day - understandably - most folks are under the impression that the "right" turn sign at a couple of the streets along the lane essentially means there are no "left" turns permitted during rush-hour traffic.

However, it is their distinct impression that once checking for traffic, they can proceed on down the lane.

When one motorist recently did so, he was quite surprised to spy a motorcycle cop pull up behind him as he turned the corner on Crescent Street, to park.

Because the driver was in the dark as to why he was being stopped, he engaged in a conversation with the cop - a Beverly Hills Police Officer by the name of Gates (Badge No. 34075) - to determine why a ticket was being written up.

At this juncture, it was evident that Officer had been up to "no good". In fact, his actions amounted to entrapment - in my estimation - if not outright stalking.

For example, during the conversation Gates (no relation to the former police chief, by the way) let it slip that two blocks back the motorist had correctly stopped and driven through the intersection and down the lane without any violation of the law.

Now wait a minute. Two blocks back, you say?

The driver was a little startled because - for one - he never noticed any police officer in his rear-view mirror for the length of his "journey" down the alley.

At this point, it was evident that the Officer had been hiding behind a bush, laying in wait for an unsuspecting driver to become his next "prey".

Notwithstanding, when the motorist noted the sign gave the impression that although "left" turns were disallowed - through traffic was okay - Gates had the audacity to argue that the City didn't have a sign to convey that to drivers.

Gosh, almighty! Sentient beings can whiz a man off to the moon, but public works in Beverly Hills can't craft a sign that doesn't confuse motorists?

When the victim of the "ticket" stalker filed a complaint with Mr. Barry Brucker (the Mayor of Beverly Hills) the lazy representative of the people never even bothered to give the motorist the courtesy of a reply. More shocking perhaps, was his failure to even investigate the troubling issues.

In fact - when I made an inquiry about Mr. Brucker one day at City Hall - a guard informed me that he rarely put in an appearance at the office; in fact, he only breezed in to check to his mail now and then or attend a scheduled City Council meeting.

I expect the "lay-about" is off playing golf during the day. Or, rubbing elbows with the tony elite at fancy luncheons - looking for ways to feather his own nest - eh?

Since the issue of the sign - and the unjust ticket came to my attention - I have noticed in recent days that Beverly Hills Police Officers are inclined to "hide" behind bushes on side streets that offshoot Santa Monica Boulevard in a deceitful effort to snag unsuspecting motorists who are cruising along none-the-wiser.

Usually, the motorcycle cops are parked on the "wrong side" of the street - behind a lot of foliage - where they are surely a hazard to the public-at-large!

For instance, any unsuspecting motorist who makes a sudden turn around the corner without warning, is bound to careen right into the hapless cop.

But, when an officer has sh** for brains, what do you expect?

Notwithstanding, I was quite appalled recently when I came across a whacko person in the park at Canon Drive, spitting on Japanese Tourists and hurling racists remarks in their direction.

Was there a Police Officer on duty in the vicinity to take charge as the frightening drama unfolded in the ritzy enclave a hop-and-a-skip away from a main thoroughfare in Beverly Hills?

No.

The doughnut scarfers were all busy hiding behind bushes - waiting for motorists to disobey confusing traffic signs - so they could ticket 'em unjustly.

Zsa Zsa Gabor obviously had the right idea when she gave that "copper" a smart slap in the face.

Beverly Hills' finest?

Not!



Beverly Hills Police bushwack...

Vice President Cheney..."Dick" in wringer over "greenhouse gas" data manipulation! Executive Privilege? Coward's way out!

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall...


A probe to determine if the Bush Administration plotted to alter sworn Congressional testimony by a Federal Official in order to play down the threat of Global Warming has led to the door of Vice President Dick Cheney.

Now, on the heels of the accusatory finger-pointing, George Bush's sidekick in the Oval Office is taking the coward's way out and asserting Executive Privilege to avoid recrimination.

The scandal first found footing several months ago when the news magazine show - 60 Minutes - conducted an investigation into allegations by reputable scientists that the Bush Administration was suppressing crucial facts about greenhouse gases and their negative impact on the environment.

President Bush is opposed to mandatory limits on greenhouse gas emissions from power plants, oil refineries, and other polluters on the grounds that such steps would drive up energy costs and hurt the economy.

During on-camera interviews at CBS Studios, a handful of environmental specialists noted that initially the Government forbade them from releasing any of their reports to the media.

The strict ultimatum was later abandoned in favor of a Government policy that stipulated that officials in Washington review all findings before they be released and made public.

After the new mandate was imposed, Scientists were later startled to uncover evidence that indicated Officials on the "Hill" not only manipulated data to minimize the impact of the findings - but, in some cases - edited out information in a deceitful effort to mislead the public about the seriousness of the alarming problem.

Then - a nasty tussle with Governor Schwarzenegger over a request for an EPA waiver - signaled something was definitely amiss in the corridors of power that went far beyond simple concerns about rising energy costs.

Although the Governor met all the criteria for the granting of a "waiver" he sought to impose stricter greenhouse gas regulations in the State of California, the request was summarily denied by the EPA on dubious grounds.

On the heels of the denial of the waiver, the office of the State Attorney General proceeded to file suit against the Government alleging wrongdoing. In addition, a Committee headed up by Senator Boxer began interrogating key witnesses to determine the facts.

At this juncture, shadowy figures behind-the-scenes in Washington, sought to hush up the truth.

For instance, when former EPA Administrator Johnson was asked to appear before Boxer, he noted for the record that he intended to relay to the committee that "greenhouse gas emissions" harm the environment.

In a follow-up letter to Boxer, Johnson confessed that an official in the office of the Vice President later called to ask him to change his proposed testimony. In spite of the arm-twisting from Washington officials, Johnson appeared as planned, and offered up the damning testimony in spite of their protests.

In addition, six pages of of testimony by Dr. Julie L. Gerberding (the Director for the Center for Disease Control and Prevention) were deleted in an underhanded effort to suppress the facts.

In recent days, an official has sworn that Cheney's office took that wrongful action to prevent Gerberdin's testimony about the dire health risks of climate change from seeing the light of day.

But the mind-boggling interference did not end there.

Jason K. Burnett (a former EPA Official) noted that last December he sent the White House an e-mail which underscored the importance of a Supreme Court ruling that related to greenhouse gas emission risks. After the communication was received, Burnett was summarily asked to testify that the missive was sent in error.

Brunett refused to comply with the request on the grounds that it was a bald-faced lie.

Undoubtedly, the stepped-up attempts by Washington Officials to interfere with the information-gathering by Boxer and others, is a scurrilous effort on the part of the Bush Administration to prevent a reversal of the Federal ruling denying California and other states permission to impose stricter emissions standards than the Federal Government allows.

Notwithstanding, efforts by Congressional Democrats to obtain documents pertaining to White House memos and other communications have been thwarted by Cheney's curious claim of "Executive Privilege".

Ah, there must be a smoking gun somewhere!

In sum, Boxer believes that history will judge George Bush and crony Cheney harshly.

"They're recklessly covering up a real threat to the American people they're supposed to be protect."

Yeah, their looking out for their own sorry political a**es!

George Bush...Bay area residents to name Sewage Plant after PREZ 'cause of his stink!

I left my sh** in San Francisco!


In a move to ensure that the legacy of George W. Bush does not go unnoticed in the anuses - um - annals of History, a handful of visionary residents in San Francisco are seeking to place a measure on the election ballot with the specific aim of re-naming a sewage plant in the President's honor.

The "Presidential Memorial Commission" has submitted a proposal to change the name of the - "Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant" - to the morally correct - "George W. Bush Sewage Plant".

A handful of the members feel it is a fitting tribute to a President who has created a political and environmental "mess" during his eight-year term in office.

The groups insignia - which consists of the Presidential Seal and a bald eagle holding two plungers - says it all in the estimation of its members.

"It's fair to say that we're going to be cleaning up a substantial mess over the next decade or more thanks to Bush. Environmental degradation. A war in Iraq that cost $1 trillion plus. It's going to be a big job," member Brian McConnell lamented to well-wishers.

Understandably, the White House has not responded.

"It doesn't dignify a response," White House spokesman Trey Bohn said of the initiative.

Supporters submitted twelve thousand signatures to San Francisco election officials, hoping to place the initiative on the ballot, with the specific goal of renaming the sewage treatment facility after the jaunty Texan lightweight.

Some feel the idea is ludicrous and a waste of money.

Others argue that the action is a part of the long tradition of political satire aimed at provoking a discussion; in this instant case, to spark a meaningful dialogue about the Bush Administration's shortcomings in the environmental arena.

Suzanne Gautier, a spokeswoman for the San Francisco Public Utilities Commission, exercised some diplomacy when asked her opinion about the renaming of the treatment plant.

Although many would be honored to have their facility named after the President, Ms. Gautier stated for the record that she - for one - was comfortable with the current designation.

I guess you have to read between the lines...

The name of George W. Bush over the doorway would only stink up the name and reputation of the treatment facility.

Heh, things are pretty bad when a sh**-house cleansing facility doesn't even want 'ya!


Sewage under the Bridge for George W. Bush Presidency...

Peace...a sign of the times?

When a number of school children were shown a peace sign and asked to identify it, a handful of the young ones confused it with the logo for the luxury vehicle, the Mercedes Benz.

A sign of the times?

The Human Condition...quote!

The human condition translates into a Universal language

that is understood by all
without the necessity of a spoken word

Julian Ayrs
The Daily Planet
Collection of Poems

Kabluey...Lisa Kudrow release an offbeat hilarious comedy. Five Theatre run starts Friday!

Well, it wasn't exactly a red carpet opening.

But, the outgoing film director - Scott Prendergast - was on hand nonetheless to trot the film's "Mascot" out into the street amid a bit of fanfare and shake hands with filmgoers who turned up for the sneak preview of "Kabluey".

In the line up for popcorn, a fellow next to me noted that movie web reviewers at "Rotten Tomatoes" gave it an 89.

"Were they ripe or rotten tomatoes," I laughingly teased.

Obviously the former, since one of the New York dailies gave the Indie film a resounding thumbs in recent days.

Understandably.

"Kabluey" is a charming unpretentious first offering from Prendergast.

In fact, I haven't openly laughed so raucously in a movie theatre since the premiere of "The Rocker" in Las Vegas last month.

The film is based on a true story about the director's brother who was shipped off to Iraq and a sister-in-law he gave a hand to during a trouble spot that reared its ugly head in their domestic life as the soldier was stationed overseas.

To add a dimension of drama - and a much-needed emotional undercurrent to the plot - Prendergast fabricated a fictional tryst between his distant sister-in-law (played by Lisa Kudrow) and her boss into the mix.

The testy relationship between two bratty young nephews and the easygoing - but off-the-wall uncle - slathers on some additional zing to the zesty comedy as well.

But, the film really takes off comically, when Salmon (played by Prendergast) takes on a part-time job for an Internet Company that is down-sizing.

In this side-splitting scenario, Prendergast's character is forced to don a cumbersome oversize "Blue Man" suit (without any facial features or vents to facilitate breathing) and stand by the highway with flyers in hand in a bold-faced effort to lease rental space in the half-empty business complex owned by the Corporate entity.

The sight gags are hilarious.

In one scene, for instance, a four-man work crew happens by - and after taking pity on the "Blue Man" - toss a brewskie his way to cool down his jets a bit.

But, there's a dilemma, of course.

The over-sized plush toy does not have distinct fingers, so Salmon has difficulty opening the can so that he may likewise guzzle down the thirst-quenching ale.

Suddenly - "out-of-the-blue" - his hand pokes through the "rear end" of the suit and he snatches up the can of beer from the pavement below.

The visual image literally jars the sensibilities!

A couple of fine performances by seasoned actors also create some side-splitting moments on the silver screen as well.

In the role of a butch stressed-out Manager, Conchata Ferrell carves out a delightful characterization which is right on the money. In fact, the moment the charismatic star saunters onto the screen, a spark ignites; at which point, Kabluey shifts into high gear.

Although Kudrow comes across as a bit mousy and washed out in this feature, the "look" is dead on in this instant case. Ultimately, the former "Friends" star turns in an understated performance that resonates with truth.

As for Prendergast in the main role - well, he's a hoot - alright!

His comedic timing is razor-sharp; his screen presence darn mesmerizing.

In an offbeat role, Teri Garr demonstrates a depth of acting ability only hinted at before.

Kabluey is not a great life-changing movie event; but, it will make you belly-laugh and stride out of the Theatre with a goofy grin on your face.

Worth the price of admission, fer sure!

Teri Garr

Amtrak...annual mooning event on tracks in Laguna Niguel! Cheeky celebration on July 12th!

So the legend goes, a few years ago (twenty-eight to be exact) a barkeep in Laguna Niguel offered to buy free drinks for anyone who mooned the Amtrak train as it passed by out back.

The tradition not only stuck in respect to Amtrak, but extended its reach to include the daily commuter train, the Metrolink.

When the annual event rolls around on July 12th (Saturday) enthusiasts have two options. The adventurous can join in and show a little cheek or stand on the sideliness and support the - um - rear.

According to informed sources, the Amtrak and Metrolink trains will be brimming to capacity with passengers anxious to participate in this years "moon show" between the stations of "Irvine" (to the North) and "San Juan Capistrano" (to the south).

Because of traffic conjestion earlier in the morning and late in the afternoon, the peak hours for the rump fest are expected to be between ten o'clock in the morning and four o'clock in the afternoon.

However, there will be a moonlight mooning session after 8 p.m.

The exact location of the tongue-in-cheek celebration is along the chain link fence adjacent to the train tracks across the road from:

Mugs Away Saloon
27324 Camino Capistrano
Laguna Niguel
California 92677
Contact: (949)582-9716

Bottoms up!

Barack Obama...Whitewater-style scandal on horizon?

What a sly deal that was, honey bun!

I suppose if a land transaction Barack Obama inked a few years ago was thrown together by either Hillary or Bill Clinton, there would be an almighty stink.

And, cries for criminal charges to be brought.

But, for some inexplicable reason - in spite of the fact the funding of a loan for a Georgian Mansion in upscale Chicago does not appear to pass the "smell test" - there have not been any allegations of "foul".

I expect the voters are so keen on following through with their - "candidate for change" - that they are inclined to look the other way. Or, just maybe they're going into denial about the whole fiasco?

In my opinion, it has all the makings of a scandal; once the smoking gun is found, of course!

Shortly after joining the Senate, Obama bought a 1.65 million dollar property which he secured with a mortgage from Northern Trust in Illinois.

Unlike many other home buyers at the time (who generally paid 6% for a mortgage loan) the Senator was able to lock in at an interest rate of 5.625% over the thirty-year term.

Known as a "super super jumbo" in banking vernacular, the unusually high loan required no origination fee or discount points, either.

Based on average terms available during that time frame, the deal essentially saved Obama about three hundred dollars a month.

Great financing, if you can swing it, eh?

After the questionable terms of the loan were revealed, Ben LaBolt (a spokesperson for the Senator) tried to effect some damage control by asserting that the rock-bottom rate was offered up to compete with another lender's bid for the financing. And, hence, not out-of-the-norm under the circumstances.

But, the debate is heating up, and for good reason.

When news broke that discounts were offered to J. Dodd (D-Conn.) and Kent Conrad (D-N.D.) at Countrywide Financial - at a time when a National Housing Crisis has adversely affected homeowners around the country - a glaring spotlight was thrown on the questionable practices - and ultimately - resulted in a preliminary Senate ethics committee inquiry into the Dodd and Conrad Loans.

Even Obama's campaign organizers have not been immune from scrutiny in recent days.

In fact, when it was disclosed that James A. Johnson - head of the Vice Presidential Search Committee - obtained a favorable loan from Countrywide Financial, he resigned to avoid facing the music.

In some quarters, there is a concern that public officials knowingly or unknowingly receive special treatment from lenders and that the discounts may amount to illegal gifts, in essence.

Looking back, industry experts acknowledge that Barack Obama did better than average in respect to the financing of his mortgage in June of 2005.

In defense of the hints of impropriety, Northern Trust Vice President John O'Connell argued that occupation and salary are two factors taken into consideration when determining the extent of the financing, interest rates, etc.

However, his concluding remarks were the most telling, in my estimation.

For the record he noted that the Barack Obama mortgage financing was a business proposition for Northern Trust and that - as such - part of a "business model" to service and pursue successful individuals, families, and institutions.

Which begs the question: what does Northern Trust expect of the Senator in the future?

Notwithstanding, what of the common Joe?

Shouldn't a first-time home buyer, with scant funds, also be given the chance to pursue the American dream, too?

But, the controversy does not end there.

Allegedly, the day of the closing on the Georgian mansion in Chicago's tony enclave, the wife of Antoin (Tony) Rezko (a long-time friend and fundraiser for Barack) finalized paperwork on an adjoining lot that was originally a side yard for the main property.

More astounding - perhaps - was the revelation that Barack and Michelle managed to purchase their house for $300,000.00 less than the asking price of 1.95 million.

In contrast, Rita (Rezko's wife) purchased the adjacent piece of land for the full sale price of $625,000.00.

Curiously, Rita Rezko later sold a portion of the tract (vacant) to the Obama family so that they could enlarge their yard.

Gee, I'd love to have "friends" like that, wouldn't you?

A footnote adds an intriguing twist to the whole scenario.

A few weeks ago, Tony Resko was convicted of sixteen counts in an influence-peddling scheme that reached the highest levels of Illinois State Government.

Was Obama his next victim or just a well-cared for pal?

An Ace in the hole, no doubt.

Activate...vitamin drink with new twist!

As I strolled up to the grocery store - a handsome model-type enticed me over to a stand in front of a specialty shop - where an impressive array of beverages in eye-catching colors were laid out.

A hunky guy with a pretty face hawking goods is always a smart marketing idea in a predominantly gay neighborhood; especially in West Hollywood where a bevy of young dudes are constantly on the make!

Worked with me. What can I say, I'm a horn dog!

The healthy drink - "Activate" - has a special twist to it.

Because researchers have allegedly determined that vitamins diminish in strength in liquid water bases over time, the vitamins in "Activate" are tucked away separately in the cap.

As the label notes, ""It's hid in the lid".

After the refreshing water has been iced or refrigerated, a twist of the cap releases the vitamins into the liquid in the container below.

Just shake it up and guzzle it down!

I chose the "Antioxidant" offering - which was not only a thirst quencher - but downright delicious, too.

Just five calories. Imagine that!

Something tells me this little beverage is going to go big around the Nation this summer.

Bottoms up, young man!

Internet...are regulations sufficient to ensure network neutrality?

In a bid to ensure the World-Wide-Web remains an open forum of communication, the Federal Communications Commission held hearings recently on "Network Management" on the Internet.

The FCC has the authority to prevent service providers from discriminating against web surfers.

For this reason - and in spite of the fact Comcast admitted delaying file-sharing traffic for subscribers as a way to keep traffic flowing recently - Kevin Martin (Chairman of the FCC) assured naysayers at the forums that no new legislation was necessary.

While Mr. Martin confessed that the FCC has a responsibility to enforce the principles currently in place, he cautioned that intense regulation of the net is entirely unwarranted.

At the hearings, key speakers voiced their concerns about "Network Neutrality", and stressed that net surfers should be able to go where they choose on the Internet without interference from network owners.

For instance, a contingent of writers from the WGA elaborated that when a strike was underway in Hollywood a few weeks ago, reps were concerned about the fact the individuals they were negotiating with for new contracts owned the servers.

Patric Verrone - President of WGA (WEST) - went so far as to warn that when employers are the same companies who control the media it may be difficult to get messages out.

Because the Guild relied on blog postings, video announcements, and e-mail communications to maintain contact with their membership, Verrone felt it was important to raise the need for neutrality based on the Guild's recent experience.

Even still, according to various reports across the board, the neutrality issue has divided Congress.

And, while Democrats appear to be largely in favor of legislation, Republicans are mostly opposed to action on neutrality issues, according to informed sources.

The Networks are also opposed to added legislation and have argued that new rules are not only unnecessary, but may hurt the consumer.

Kyle McSlarrow - the President & CEO of the National Cable and Telecommunications Association - believes that the fears of pro-net neutrality activists are unfounded.

He asserts that - of the millions of users traversing the Internet superhighway daily - no one is essentially being "blocked". If they were, they have recourse.

"They can sign up with another provider," he argues matter-of-fact.

At the panel discussions, Mr. Martin concluded in the final analysis, that the "Internet Policy" approved in 2005 is enforceable and gives the FCC the teeth it needs to adequately protect consumers.

We'll see!

West Hollywood...humping in the streets!

What the?


I was driving up Edinburgh Street when I noticed something odd on the pavement ahead.

Just a few feet before an elevation in the road - a sign etched in the pavement in dazzling white bold-faced lettering - caught my eye.

Hump

Say what?

Maybe, I'd better grab my glasses - I thought to myself - as I scrutinized the road a little more carefully ahead.

Surely - the warning notice said bump - right?

Since time immemorial - after all - calculated rises in the road specifically designed to slow traffic (and in some cases tear out floorboards of those who bottom out after maintaining high speed) have been labelled (quite succinctly, I might add) bumps.

Since the days of my youth, in fact.

Perhaps some city worker was high on Tina after a night of humping at Flex - and quite by accident - etched the jarring off-beat word on the pavement by mistake?

Guys, it's a piece of cake.

Just paint over the faded lettering after vehicle traffic has crushed it into oblivion over time.

No need to reinvent a designated bump sign.

Or, maybe it's the fault of those anal-retentive Councilman over at City Hall?

Don't they have better things to do than sit around twiddling their di**s - trying to fathom a new-fangled way to unveil a bump in the road - that's okey-dokey just the way it is?

Surely, you've heard the old expression, fellas.

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it?"

What's next?

Pink caution signs at crosswalks?

As I cruised around the neighborhood, things got curiouser and curiouser.

Ah, lookie there!

A street sign warned about a safety hump ahead.

Yes, don't forget your rubbers when humping, motorists!

Another (a scant mile on) indicated there was a speed hump just down-a-ways.

For quickies on lunch break, I expect?

Now, I spied a twist to the whole hump scenario.

Indeed, now I was being enlightened about a dip, on the horizon.

I suppose a dip is the opposite of a hump?.

That's when you don't go in all the way, but just sort-of test the waters a bit?



Signs underscore the ongoing lunacy in sign erection these days

Beverly Hills Police Department...basic plumbing goes awry!

As I was jogging by the Police Station in Beverly Hills bright and early this morning, I spied an "Emergency Rooter" service vehicle parked out front.

"Rooter" is a plumbing outfit that fixes glitches that arise over basic plumbing problems, drainage inadequacies, and overall sewage complications.

How apropos!

It's pretty much a given that officers in Law Enforcement are not only professional liars - but full of pigsh** - too.

Looks like the crap finally caught up with 'em!