God is watching...quote by Julian Ayrs!

 

Whenever

you

cross paths

with

another

individual

Imagine

that

God

is

hovering

over

your

shoulder

That way

you'll always

be sure

to treat

others

with

compassion

dignity

and

respect!

Julian Ayrs

Divine Grace

A Collection of Poems

Mega Millions...monster bucks lottery roll-over! Fat Tuesday for ticket-holder!

When I dashed into 711 to scan my Mega Millions lottery ticket, I was crestfallen when the machine spat out the lotto results.

"Ticket not a winner", it read!

Tell that to Charlie Sheen, eh?

Just as a deep funk fell over me (and I started to feel like a real loser) I perked up when another ticket holder informed me there wasn't any big winner that evening.

Now, the Mega Millions jackpot has rolled over to a whopping $356 million approximately.

Needless to say, I'm going to dip into my weekly allowance and try my luck.

Residuals...an actor's rainy-day funds! 45 cents for a repeat of "In Living Color"!

For actors, it's a little perk in life.

Every time a TV Show or commercial is re-broadcast on a network - or a film is screened for viewers in the comfort of their cozy homes - the producers cough up a residual check for the performers who acted on the project.

The fee is determined by the actor's pay scale and the venue on which it aired.

A major network repeat will generate a higher residual than a lowly cable outlet in the U.S. market.

Actors usually rely on the "surprise" revenue to get through lean times when out-of-work or - God forbid - they have unexpectedly come down with an ailment that prevents them from attending auditions or contracting for assignments.

Whenever I spy an envelope in the mailbox with the Union's logo on its face, I get excited.

Unfortunately, the residuals have been few-and-far between lately, and tend to for paltry sums when they do arrive out-of-the-blue by U.S. Post.

After all, every time a program airs, the residual decreases in size (and number).

Last week, I received a check for approximately $1.00 from the producers of "How I Got into College" (Fox Films) for playing a "Harvard Recruiter" years ago.

Yesterday's offering?

I got a whoppiing 47 cents for a repeat of a brief performance on "In Living Color" (I was lucky to land a bit part in a "Brothers / Brothers sketch which starred talented actor Jim Carrey).

Oh well, it's better than a kick in the butt, eh?

Jack-in-the-Box...rude cashier begrudges gent Senior Coffee discount! Changing Latino attitudes in U.S.!

There was a time when Latinos were grateful to land a menial-task job in the United States.

Now-a-days, though, quite a few immigrant workers not only have a bad attitude - but - are often inclined to push white folks around at fast-food take-outs and the local pharmacy when they step up for service at the counter.

For example, when an elderly gent ordered up a breakfast Jack and senior coffee one morning at the Jack-in-the-Box fast-food outlet at Cahuenga and Sunset, he noticed he was overcharged.

"Heh, I ordered a Senior coffee," he excitedly pointed out to the cashier, who reacted by wrinkling up her nose at him, before retorting back with an exasperated look on her face.

"Everyone wants a Senior coffee," she scoffed, as other guests gazed on from the sidelines startled by her rude insulting behaviour.

"I'm a Senior. I am entitled to the discount," he shot back, a bit miffed by her mean-spirited attitude.

Reluctantly, the sloppily-dressed cashier corrected the bill, and strode off to whisper her annoyance (in Spanish, mind you) to a fellow worker a few steps away.

Coincidentally, the customer received an invitation on his receipt to participate in a survey about the service at that location.

Just betcha, he gave them his piece of mind, eh?

By the way, on the heels of a recent poll, it was reported that there are fewer Latino workers pursuing gainful employment in outlying areas of the United States just now.

As expected, though, the numbers have risen a notch or two in big cities like Los Angeles and New York.

It has been theorized that Mexican workers are moving back to large metropolitan cities to secure-work - or staying put at home in Mexico - until the troubled economy surges forward once again.

The recent rise in Asian immigrants to this country may have also impacted the situation.

News at 11!

Sofia Coppola...shoots "The Bling Ring" locally! Scripted tale torn from headlines!

Sofia Coppola just started up production on her latest project - "The Bling Ring" - which is expected to toss a searing lens on a tawdry Hollywood-inspired tale inspired by real-life events ripped from the headlines.

Scripted by Ms. Coppola, the intriguing drama focuses on a gang of Los Angeles teens who reached infamy after they were caught burglarizing the ritzy homes of celebrities such as Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton.

By tracking the whereabouts of their victims on the Internet, the clever thieves were able to pull off the robberies without a hitch.

The light-fingered criminals made off with about $3 million dollars worth of booty before they were eventually apprehended by the local police.

Ms. Coppolla' brother - Roman - is co-producing alongside his sister and Youree Henley.

Sofia (the daughter of famed director Francis Ford Coppola) last-produced "Somewhere" starring sexy hunk Stephen Dorff which was fairly well-received by critics here and abroad (2010 release).

CVS...incompetent staff at greedy corporate entity! A menace to the community!

I often refer to the "outfit" as the "Evil Empire".

Some - who have criticized their coupon give-a-aways (a Los Angeles Times journalist, for starters) - are also under the impression "they" are a menace to the community-at-large.

The Federal Government has fined the "evil-doers" over a million dollars (and some change) for engaging in deceptive business practices (which include failing to honor product sticker prices on the store shelves and releasing confidential customer information without their written permission).

Of course, I am referring to CVS - the corporate giant - out to get a stranglehold on the pharmaceutical market and any other retail enterprise ripe for raiding!

Tattler readers may recall that I have posted consumer alerts on CVS in the past.

Post: 08/31/2009

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2009/08/cvsretailer-dishonest-about-sale-offers.html

Post: 10/16/2011

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2011/10/cvscorporate-greed-false-advertising.html

Many customers are also frustrated by the incompetent employees who man the cash registers, too.

After all, the staff at CVS tend to be rude, insulting, and unqualified for the job.

At a time when folks in middle America are begging for work, you'd think that CVS would have the cream of-the-crop in the hiring pool at their disposal, but I guess not.

For some inexplicable reason, CVS management continues to employ losers like those on duty at the outlet situated on Santa Monica Blvd (at La Cienega) in West Hollywood (90069) that I encountered yesterday afternoon.

Consequently, shoppers are fleeing in droves, trotting elsewhere for their retail needs.

In fact, after a nasty incident at the pharmacy on Thursday, I intend to discontinue my long-time patronage there, too.

The unfortunate encounter with a rude unprofessional cashier reared its ugly head on the heels of dropping off a couple of prescriptions two weeks ago.

Although I was informed by telephone (on my voice mail unit) that the medicine was ready - that was simply not the case - when I took a trek in to pick up the simple order.

In fact, the pharmacist and his motley crew screwed up royally!

For example, the CVS staff - not only rustled up a prescription I did not ask for - but also neglected to fill another one I was urgently in need of.

When I pointed out the snafu, instead of offering up an apology, the clerk reluctantly agreed to telephone the doctor to straighten out the alleged misunderstanding (which occurred on the other end, of course, according to the dimwit I was in conversation with).

At this juncture, though, the employee's incompetence - and lack of experience on the job - ended up causing additional excessive (distressing) delays.

For instance, initially - when I asked to speak to a doctor at UCLA  to ensure the details of the mishap were explained well enough to enable CVS staff to prepare the order without further mishap - the gal (who seemed to be under the mistaken impression that she was a beauty Queen or something) proceeded to give me the run-around.

Later, once the doctor returned the call, the ditzy broad screwed-up once again.

Uh-huh!

Because the doctor was none-the-wiser about the specifics (the order was not a "refill" as falsely relayed to the physican) the prescription didn't get filled!

When I demanded she call the physcian back to straighten out the error, she balked at the simple request, before striding off in a huff.

"Perhaps you should call the doctor from your home," she snapped back at me.

A request to see the Manager ruffled her feathers, too.

She'd prefer to sweep the whole thing under the dirty rug, you betcha.

Talk about unprofessional self-serving reprehensible conduct.

How did this low-life loser ever land the job at CVS?

Has she been offering up "blow jobs" on her knees in the back storage room to the managers and stock boys to keep her precious post or what?

Right then and there - it suddenly dawned on me, too - that I was a fool to waste any more of my valuable time at CVS that afternoon (or ever again).

Frankly, I'd have to be a masochist to shop there in the future, I thought to myself later, as I angrily strode out the door with a posse of startled customers staring on in shock from the sidelines.

Good golly, Ms. Molly!

Walgreen's & Rite-Aid are starting to look better every day, eh?




Shopping needs best purchased elsewhere!

Fashion Star...gains momentum! Designer's eye-catching men's shirts hit retailers!

Jessica gives birth to "Oscar" collection?





The other night there was a lot of high drama on "Fashion Star" as one innovative female designer was caught in the middle of a bidding war over a party frock - crafted in a pretty shade of pink - sure to be a hit with budding fashionistas around the country in coming days.

Rightly so!

The buyers' about-face was in stark contrast to the fiasco that went down on last week's segment.

Three major retailers screwed up, in my estimation, when they unceremoniously passed on "Oscar's" dazzling black sequined cocktail dress (which Jessica Simpson was ready to slip into once it was unveiled on the runway - and caught the light just so - sending a million little rainbows this way n' that on the stage).

Go figure!

The excited scramble for this week's delightful offerings - signalled a ray of hope for the reality show (which tosses a searing spotlight on the tough-as-nails rag trade each week) - which teetered a tad last week when it first started out of the gate on opening night.

Though show producers have quite a few kinks to iron out to "make it work", it was evident to folks like moi, that NBC's - "Fashion Star" - has all the essential elements to go the long haul.

Though the buyers were tough on the talent the other evening (the critiques were downright harsh on occasion) the style assessments were "bang on" nonetheless.

Ouch!

Competing for hanger space on the rack of a major department store is not child's play, after all.

Subsequently, the round of nail-biting eliminations that followed, ended up being wicked entertaining bill-of-fare (from where I perched on the sidelines, for sure).

I also found myself applauding the winning designs (a pretty sun dress, a handful of men's shirts rife with heady masculine appeal, and a classy pair of white tuxedo pants which Nicole Richie raved on about) that were purchased to go on sale at Macy's, Saks Fifth Avenue, and H & M retail outlets the following day.

Saleable fashion-forward entries, all!

Amidst all the hoopla and excitement, there were a few tense moments, though.

Lizzie Parker (I panned one of her runway shows at the Los Angeles Fashion Weekend a few days ago for being "old hat") narrowly escaped the axe.

But, somehow had to be given the heave ho, 'ya know?

Unfortunately, the buyers (the mentors, too) were forced to cut fledgling designer "Oscar" loose as a result.

It was an emotional moment for the temperamental "wannabee".

"I have family to support. And, a dog at home," he lamented woefully.

"Maybe I just don't have enough talent," he wondered aloud, as everyone within earshot sadly gazed on.

Curiously, Ms. Simpson made an on-air confession in the wake of his dramatic loss.

"I dreamed that I gave birth to Oscar the other night," she giggled, to disbelievers in her midst.

To me, that was a good omen.

Although Oscar was canned from the "Fashion Star" weekly extravaganza, there is no good reason why Jessica Simpson couldn't launch his collection under a separate label sponsored by the outgoing effervescent star herself.

News at 11!

By the way, isn't it time makeup did something with Elle's hair?

Talk about a fashion disaster!




Nicole Richie a fan of white tuxedo pants!



Oscar contemplates the outcome!



Buyers Beware!

Miracles of the Holy Spirit...quote by Julian Ayrs!

When

God

is

present

in

a
compassionate 

human heart

the
mystical

magic

of
the

Holy Spirit

is

capable

 of
manifesting

miracles!

Julian Ayrs

Divine Grace

A Collection of Poems

Menswear Spring 2012...cool classy white linens! A hint of flesh at Dolce Gabbana!

I was casually strolling up Rodeo Drive this afternoon when I caught sight of an eye-catching window display of the latest collection of menswear for spring from Dolce Gabbana.


Whew!


In the artfully-decorated open space, the staff simply draped the collection (based on a pristine-white palette) on wire hangers for passers-by to get a gander at from the trendy environs of the street outside.

If anything, the designer was probably dropping a hint.

The elegant linen suit jackets should be teamed with a handful of their knit pieces - such as an elegantly-designed slightly see-thru sweater (with traditional crew neck), loose-fitting shorts (featuring snazzy pockets with whimsical fashion flourishes), or just plain straight-legged dress slacks.

A classy "look", yes!

But, not a very practical one for the dude with a tendency to slop mustard or soup on his pricey designer tie over lunch!

Uh-huh!

Though the spring collection is high-maintenance, it sure is a knock-out way to go for the man-about-town who has the presence and underlying machismo to pull it off.

For those fellas who tend to shy away from dazzling white ensemble pieces (too pussy?) there are a few offerings in shades of charcoal and champagne that are easy to mix-and-match as well.

In a couple of instances, Dolce Cabana has rustled up "wrinkled" jackets and textured off-beat shirts, that may appeal to edgier rough-and-tumble male fashionistas anxious to be grounded on the mean streets (less peacock?).

In a nutshell, the collection is both outstanding and ready-to-wear.

But, I fess up.

I neglected to check price tags on the racks!

So, I'm in the dark as to whether the cool threads are affordable, or not.

What do they say?

If have to ask about the cost, you probably can't afford it, eh?

Just betcha, any stylish dude with a modicum of fashion sensibility, could whip up the look with  a handful of knock-offs purchased at Ross or elsewhere in the city, though.

There's nothing wrong with saving a buck or two in these tough economic times, after all.

So, go for it, dudes!

While you're at it, pluck up a shocking pink sweater or turquoise dress shirt - and a canary-yellow tie - to toss into the mix.

Heads will turn when you enter the room, alright!

Womenswear Spring 2012...versatile skirts surge fashion forward! It's style, that matters!

At the recent designer previews on runways at the Los Angeles Fashion Weekend, a smattering of bell-weather trends - among them, the normally-humble plain-Jane skirt - triggered a splash of enthusiasm here on the West Coast.

In fact, the "skirts" were so chock-full of innovations, that it was tough keeping track from my perch below the footlights at Sunset Gower Studios this past weekend.

There were a bevy of exciting eye-catching offerings which featured subtle pleats, whimsical flourishes, intricate lacy inlays, wrap-around designs, you name it.

Reedy shapes and flared minis ruled the evening, too.

Sports-inspired pieces - featuring actual racing stripes - were serious attention-getters as well.

Why is the skirt so popular this season?

Well, it's partly due to the economic landscape, just betcha.

A well-chosen - versatile - skirt can be teamed (mixed-and-matched) with a myriad of delicious pairings.

In sum, the wearer - bent on implanting their own signature style - may find the perennial staple gets more bang for the buck.

Just ask Kate Middleton, a fashion savvy - money-conscious Royal - who manages to tastefully stretch a few outfits this way 'n that so that they ultimately out-run a country-mile.

I dare say!

The little darlings are often teamed up with elegant pastel-colored blouses - feminine all-the-way - even high-waisted vests fashioned in faux fur on occasion (especially when there is a chill in the night air).

"Torn" waif-like "looks" will be popular, just betcha, for the scintillating gal capable of pulling the fashion parade off.

To spark up the outfits, clever fashionistas will plunk down hard cash and splurge on a pricey "eye-popping" accessory or two, to guarantee they'll stand out in the crowd alright.

After all - it's style, not the clothes - that make the woman!








 

Johnny Walker...chic whiskey-tasting soiree a hit with locals! Distiller supports RADD!

 








The outside exterior of 860 South Los Angeles Street was a pretty drab-looking and uninspiring one - but - once the guests were whisked up to the penthouse suite on the 11th floor that all changed when they were treated to a commanding view of the cityscape beyond.

The understated gallery space at the Cooper Building - discreetly decorated with a smattering of publicity stills promoting Johnny Walker products - was the perfect setting for the distiller to offer up a sampling of their distinctive high-quality brands of whiskey to potential imbibers.

In fact, a seemingly endless line of excited locals streamed into the highly-anticipated event around the dinner hour, anxious to make the scene, sip on an "old-fashioned" on the rocks, nibble on scrumptious finger foods, and mix-and-mingle a tad with a handful of upscale guests with an eye twoards networking a social hub or two.

The pretty models circulating the room were alluring, too.

In addition, a photographer with a keen eye roamed the inviting terrain (anxious to snap publicity stills) with the specific aim of uploading the candid shots to Johnny Walker's Facebook page.

There were quite a few takers!

Since I am undergoing dental work - and am currently blessed with an unfortunate gap in my smile up-front - I was forced to beg off, though.

Understandably, eh?

I also spied a posse of humble down-to-earth folks on-hand, anxious to lift up an arm, and toss back a freebie shot of whiskey (or two or three????).

The affable host - a rotund, articulate fellow with a great sense of humor - walked the effervescent by-invitation-only guests through the whiskey sampling in the main room after focusing on at least four brands of Johnny Walker offerings.

To think - that for all these years - I was under the impression that the only difference between the brands (black, red, blue, gold) was the color of the label on the face of the ubiquitous square bottles on display at the local cocktail bar!

Wrong!

After an entertaining promotion (which included a delightful film clip on distillery founder John Walker) the representative schooled (and thus educated) the lot of us on the specifics about how to discern a "fine" aged whiskey - at which point - we found ourselves sniffing, sipping, and savoring the samples "neat", "on ice", or stirred (not shaken) with thirst-quenching chasers such as ginger ale and what-have-you.

At my perch front-row-center the whiskey went down pretty smoothly, I assure 'ya.

And, all the guests were encouraged to boast about their experience online, too.

For example, normally invitees to functions such as these are instructed to turn off their cell phones and all the distracting high-tech communication devices humming away (and eerily lighting up) in the room.

In this instant case, the Johnny Walker salesman urged everyone to text or tweet about the Johnny Walker upbeat par-tay, pronto.

"Make sure everyone knows how lucky you are to be here tonight at this whiskey-tasting event," he chuckled, as the audience roared in approval (and continued to peck away at their instruments of choice nearby).

A good time was had by all, you betcha, folks!

By the way, in the event a guest or two were too tipsy at the end of the night to get behind the wheel, the warm and fuzzy individuals were encouraged to stroll over and arrange a ride home with the sponsors from RADD.

RADD (supported by musical artists such as ZZ top, Black-eyed Peas, Melissa Etheridge, Lady Antebellum, Justin Timberlake, and Sugarland, to name a few) is the "entertainment industry's voice for road safety".

The non-profit is dedicated to saving lives and reducing injuries through "Edutainment" according to the supportive reps on hand.

The Internationally-recognized corporation (formed in 1986) pairs athletes, media partners, and socially-conscious individuals to create positive attitudes about road safety (drinking and driving habits) with the ultimate aim of fostering change that saves lives.

Amen!

By the way, keep an eye out on Facebook for the next tony event tossed by Johnny Walker, eh?

Dr. Christie Masters...incompetent quack physican at UCLA Medical Center! Dr. Rajagopal also a peril to patients!

If you're in urgent need of medical attention - and need to check into a hospital - avoid UCLA Medical Center like the plague.

Otherwise, you may end up in the care of incompetent quack physicians - such as Dr. Christie Masters or Dr. Nalini Rajagopal - and end up worse-for-wear and SOL (sh*t out-of-luck) medically-speaking.

For example, patients have complained that both doctors don't have a professional clue, especially when it comes to properly diagnosing an illness, let alone writing a prescription to cure a patient's ailments.

Indeed!

Both Masters and Rajagopal are known to run up a battery of useless tests - ad nauseam (at exorbitant cost, mind you) - in a bold-faced effort to (i) fill the coffers at UCLA; (ii) hope they stumble on the nagging elusive ailment (that they're unable to pin down) that is causing the patient undue discomfort and excruciating debilitating pain.

In fact, for the most part - patients are often discharged without being properly diagnosed or treated, either.

Subsequently, they are forced to return to the emergency department again - and again - and again!

And, chances are they may depart the premises leaving behind a trail of blood, too.

Uh-huh!

For instance, when one patient had an IV removed, the nurse failed to properly bandage the patient's arm.

As he strolled toward the exit, the band-aid fell off, and he started to leave a trail of blood all the way down the hall.

Though the problem was brought to the attention of Dr. Masters and Dr. Rajagopal - who were standing by in the hall chatting each other up - they didn't even bother to show any professional concern (or even lift a finger to assist their bleeding patient).

Another distressing problem?

Neither doctor is capable of writing a legitimate prescription - or following through professionally - when they slip up in respect to protocol at the pharmacy.

For instance, when one patient was handed a list of prescriptions to have filled, he noticed that Dr.  Nalini Rajagopal neglected to include one of the medicines along with the discharge papers.

When he brought the error to her attention, she quickly scribbled in the information by hand (!), with little more ado.

Unfortunately, when the patient attempted to pick up the prescriptions at CVS, the medicine was not forthcoming for at least two good reasons.

Did the pharmacist suspect that the patient forged the document to secure a painkiller that he was not legitimately entitled to because it was hand-written?

Wholly possible, don't 'ya think?

Notwithstanding that niggling issue, it should be pointed out that Dr. Rajagopal also neglected to write the prescription in triplicate which is required by California State Law

You'd think it would be a simple task to rectify the error, right?

Wrong!

At this juncture, both doctor's shocking lack of ethics and disturbing unprofessional conduct, reared its ugly head.

For example, when the patient (who was waiting in the pharmacy) asked to speak to the Doctor when she returned the pharmacist's call at CVS, she refused to have a conversation with the individual on the telephone.

At first, she engaged in a shoddy attempt - a literal conspiracy - to cover-up her own incompetence and that of her fellow physician at UCLA.

For starters, she falsely alleged to the CVS employee that she did not recall the patient in question.

The audacity!

How could that be?

The patient was just discharged from her care (which lasted ten days in duration) at UCLA Medical Center in Santa Monica (CA).

Is she a brainless "space cadet", or what?

At this point, when the patient (who was beside himself with grief) "threatened" to file a complaint with the State Medical Board - and Administration at UCLA - Dr. Masters finally relented and reluctantly proceeded to speak to the patient on the telephone.

At this juncture, Dr. Masters engaged in a shameful  despicable charade.

"I can't refill that prescription," she angrily snarled at the patient.

"It's not a refill," the patient protested profusely.

"The prescription was never written properly in triplicate. The pharmacy called the UCLA Medical Center three times to correct the error, but no one returned the calls. It was Dr. Rajagopal's fault. She doesn't know how to write a prescription!"

Obviously, Dr. Masters was either an idiot, or engaging in a conspiracy to cover-up the mistakes (and incompetence) of her associate at the hospital at this point.

"I can't refill it," she snarled at the patient.

Duh!

"It's not a refill! It was never filled because the prescription wasn't written properly," the patient angrily shouted back, as customers in the store stared on in total shock.

No matter.

Dr. Masters - an incompetent, unprofessional physician with no empathy or compassion - refused to relent.

"Get your primary care doctor to fill it," she rudely snapped back.

She could care less about the patients "pain" or the inconvenience - or delays - involved with following such a pathetic insulting directive.

Uh-huh!

Dr. Masters should be strung up by the "titties" in the town square and tar-and-feathered.

She is not only a disgrace to the medical profession, but a menace to the community-at-large.

Dr. Nalini Rajagopal should be hoisted up right alongside her, too.

Amen!

Do it yourself...quote by Julian Ayrs!

I've learned

from

experience

that

when you want

to get

something

done

in

life

it's
always
best

to do

it

yourself!

Julian Ayrs

The Daily Planet

A Collection of Poems

(and truisms)

Mega Millions...lotto fever! Lady Luck stingy with moi!

Well, as fate would have it, Mega Millions slipped through the fingers of anxious ticket-holders once again!

Now, the jackpot has zoomed up to approximately $290 million, give-or-take a nickel or two.

So, folks are dashing out to Hawthorne (CA) to queue up at a local smoke shop where the owners tend to cough up millions to their regular customers on a weekly basis.

Imagine that!

In last week's draw, when I scanned my own humble quick pick, I got all excited - jumped up-and-down - in fact.

After all, the lotto machine read:

Winner!

But, once I stumbled on my specs - and haphazardly slipped 'em on my snoz - a wave of disappointment swept over me.

I won a lousy buck!

Gosh, Lady Luck was sure stingy with me, eh?

Did I at least savor my big windfall by treating myself to a scrumptious chocolate bar (a dollar doesn't go far these days, 'ya know) or a slice of nasty-tasting lukewarm pizza courtesy of 711?

Heck, no!

I plugged the moolah right back into the quick-pick machine pronto!

And, guess what?

This morning, local TV anchors announced that - although the lotto rolled-over once again - a handful of lucky folks won at least $56,000.00 each.

OMG!

I haven't scanned my ticket, yet.

Wish me luck, eh?

Dame Edna...to take final curtain bows! Down under tour kicks-off in October!

Dame Edna, say it ain't so!

According to Ms. Everage's handlers, the grand old lady of the stage - with the ubiquitous rhinestone eyeglasses and perfectly coiffed purple "do" (Donald Trump eat your heart out!) - is slated to take her final curtain bows down the long-and-winding showbiz trail ahead.

Uh-huh!

Barry Humphries (pictured below), who created the wildly popular "drag" star admired by millions of dotting dedicated fans, has confirmed that the upcoming "Eat Pray Laugh" tour slated to kick-off down under in October - to include sold-out performances abroad (no pun intended) and in New York - will be Dame Edna's last.

Mr. Humphries  - 78 years young - has announced (sadly?) that once he's met his scheduled commitments two years hence, that the time will be ripe to retire his zany alter ego from the dazzling spotlight once-and-for-all.

But, surely, there will be a smattering of "Encore" performances?

Stay posted for updates, eh?

James Franco...intrigued by Pornography! A "Dirk Diggler" ready to bust out?

For a dude who purports to be "straight", actor James Franco is pretty clued in to where all the hot 'n heavy "gay" action is going down on the West Coast.

In fact, the other night - when the talented hunk plunked himself down on the couch to chat up Conan on the upbeat talk show - it was evident from the get-go that "still waters" run deep in respect to Frankie boy, that's for sure.

For example, when Conan quizzed the star about his alleged penchant (propensity) for trying his hand at anything, Franco acknowledged a keen interest in pornography.

Once probed (!) further, he fessed up that he just filmed a documentary on the intriguing subject, at one of the leading porn film studios in San Francisco.

I expect that - as it is with his chosen profession acting - the budding director was inclined to not only downplay his skills at foreplay - but, also - his expert prowess between the sheets.

"My girlfriend and I filmed ourselves making out. But, it didn't turn out well," he chuckled, in so many words, as the audience leaned forward in their seats excitedly below the footlights.

"When we viewed the video later, it hadn't it was bad," he dead-panned.

Conan was all ears!

Was that a rise between his levis, I spied, too?

Just betcha porn producers are scouring Hollywood for a copy of that scintillating love-making session with the ultimate aim of getting a gander at Franco pumping away non-stop in a moment of passion.

"I'd never make it even as an amateur porn star," he assured all within earshot.

"The actors in professional pornos are great performers 'cause they know how to sell it (milk it?) to the audience," he quipped, no two bones about it.

"It's kinda like my gramma (!). She's great at expressing her feelings, but, that doesn't mean she can act."

OMG!

If 'ya read between the lines, the sexy heartthrob appears to be hinting - that while he's quite sexual and is turned on by graphic sexual acts - he's not capable of being an exhibitionist.

Maybe the kid just needs an experienced "older" gay porno star to show him the - um - ropes!

Just betcha, Franco is a roaring "hard on" in the act, a real "Dirk Diggler" in the rough (just waiting to be fleshed out).

News at 11!

Beverly Hills...sculpture a piece of sh*t? Roxy Paine art waste of precious art funds!

For a few years, joggers who strolled along the Beverly Hills "flats" each day, were treated to a tasteful collection of visually-appealing sculptures that dotted the pretty landscape as they made their way through the exclusive upscale enclave sandwiched between Santa Monica and West Hollywood in Los Angeles County.

However, that all changed when the Beverly Hills Art Fund purchased a piece of sculpture from an artist by the name of one Roxy Paine.

When I first spied the eyesore on the well-manicured lawn edging the picturesque rose gardens recently, I just about wretched.

The work - titled "Erratic" - has no redeeming value at all in my estimation.

If anything, the sorry lode reminds me of a pile of silver-coated "sh*t", you betcha.

Whoever approved this garbage was either politically-motivated or making good on a promise.

Bottom line?

What a dreadful waste of art funds or taxpayer money.

If we're lucky, some enterprising individual will "scoop" up the "shat" under the cover of darkness, and sell it for the scrap metal.

Amen!




Funds better utilized for refreshing fountains such as this!