Thursday, May 19, 2011
After the initial shock of the revelation that the former Governor fathered a child with his ex-maid at his mansion in Brentwood, the jokes started flying fast-and-furious on the late-night talk-show circuit, tabloid gossip shows like TMZ, and in the gossip rags at the check-out stand at the supermarket.
"Patty was blssed with great "tats" so Arnold must have had a lot of fun playing with those," one irreverent news outlet joked.
Allegedly, the woman in the center of the firestorm was paid $1200 a week to cook, clean, do laundry, and carry out a hand-ful of chores.
What kind of chores?
Reports are filtering out that the woman in question - Mildred Patricia Baena - had her sights set on the terminator who was easy prey given Schwarzenegger's weakness for women with big knockers and tight attractive asses.
And, you thought all body-builders were gay, eh?
Allegedly, the macho chauvinist did not learn that the child was his own, until he was a toddler.
After-the-fact, when the information was first revealed to a surprised Arnold, he apparently did the honorable thing and began to pay for the upkeep of the child.
And then some, apparently.
According to the latest news reports, the child's mother is living in the lap of luxury outside of Los Angeles, in an upscale home which boasts several bedrooms and a swimming pool..
One of the many perks of successfully snagging a big-name celebrity!
I guess you could say that "Pat's" job at the Brentwood home was an entry-level position.
Missionary or doggie-style?
Although photographs of the teen born out of wedlock have not been published to protect the privacy of the young man (for once the media has acted tastefully in the wake of a scandal) insiders say that the love child bears a striking resemblance to the Austrian film star.
No word on whether Arnold's out-of-wedlock son also speaks with a heavy European accent.
Now, that would have been a dead give-a-way, alright!
Spoils of out-of-wedlock Motherhood!