Didn't 'ya want to slap sense into Paltrow?
If you're ever found the Oscars to be a big yawn - and you've been inclined to channel surf away from the segments Hitchcock might refer to as the "boring bits" - you may want to stay glued to the glam broadcast this year to ensure you don't miss any memorable moments.
After all, the glitzy show-biz extravaganza is expected to zip along this year - in part, due - to the cheeky efforts of the producers.
At a tony luncheon yesterday in Beverly Hills to honor the nominees, actors were coached on the fine art of speech-making to help 'em along at the exciting proceedings this year at the Kodak Theatre (except for actor Colin Firth, of course, who is ably prepared in the event he has to scramble up to the podium to accept a coveted Golden Statuette).
Tips were offered up on how to deliver a touching heart-warming thank-you speech - within the forty-five second time limit - without fumbling and coming off like a amateurish jerk-off before the teaming masses around the globe come February 27th.
For example, producers cautioned performers about facilitating a scrap of paper to recall a laundry list rife with names of folks to thank (or using the palm of their hand for cheat notes).
Just ask Sarah Palin.
To prompt the prime Grade A cattle along, a state-of-the-art indicator has also been installed on the front of the camera - to initiate a countdown - so unsuspecting thespians don't end up being yanked off stage with a hook (or cut off in the event irate sponsors cut to a commercial break).
For those who aren't a quick study, an instruction DVD was provided, for future reference.
So, if a handful of the speeches sound alike - or lack spontaneity or spark - you'll be able to fathom why.
You can't teach an old ham new tricks, after all!
Cameron was "King of the World"
(in his own mind anyway!)