Friendship...quote by Julian Ayrs!

Friendship is as fleeting

as the wind

And,

a lot more

unpredictable

Julian Ayrs

The Daily Planet

Collection of Poems

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Julian Ayrs 3rd Annual 10 Worst-Dressed / Best-Dressed Men (2010)...Tom Brady, Adrien Brody, Justin Timberlake, et al!

 

A nod to Mr. Blackwell!

Style, it's that - not the clothes - that make the man or woman!

When a fashionista strolls into a high-profile soiree - it's important that the casual observer give the nod when a stylish mission has been accomplished.

There's nothing worse than a man-about-town - or a stylish gal, either - appearing in public like they've just been shoddily-tossed together.

Here is a sampling of folks in the limelight who pulled off the tricky task admirably - and a handful of fashion ruffians - who missed the mark by a country-mile!

TEN WORST-DRESSED MEN

(2010)

Tiger Woods

 

Though his iron reputation has stirred up a lot of frenzied attention behind-closed-doors - on the green - Tiger's beige image has left a lot to be desired in fashion circles.

 Indeed!

The publicity still of Woods featured above underscores that he's inclined to lean towards an image that's all pimp (with no primp).

No wonder the fallen golf pro seeks out sex workers (a preferred tag used to describe prostitutes and cash-on-the-barrel highly-paid escorts in Canada and elsewhere) for intimate after-hours company.

Tiger's taste runs the gamut - from boring golf "T's" and Mommy dress slacks - to khaki's and blood red Polo shirts.

Consequently, the athlete has failed to cut any distinctive swath worthy of singling out.

In a nutshell - the fallen Sports hero is in dire need of a jolt of designer juice - if he hankers for a fashion comeback.

 

Russell Brand

A male rag doll - flitting about in a riot of fashion get-ups - who can't help but trigger a flurry of stylish scorn around the country.
Brand's old "College Try" gamble amounts to fashion oblivion.

In fact - a ghastly array of off-beat fabrics, wild musings, and truckload of unsightly wrinkles and folds - cry out (rightly so) that the tired old celeb has become stylishly unhinged.

Gene Simmons

 

 

Though I admire the aging Rocker's longevity - and his impeccable taste in sexy sirens (like tweet pal Shannon Tweed) - unfortunately the almighty kiss-of-Death has a broken-down image when it comes to being a suave man-about-town.

In fact - the infamous front man for KISS (a dinosaur band from a bygone Ice Age) - tends to strut down easy street in a handful of off-the-wall ensembles that are simple and straight-forward in their lament:


"Stale!  Old hat!"


Bold attempts to spark up his "look" with a wink and a bling have fallen flat after-the-fact.


Go figure!


In goofy outfits - like those featured above - the throaty crooner ends up generating more shits and giggles than anything else worth tittering about in recent days.


Poor Shannon!

What we have here is a failure to communicate any semblance of mojo or even one sparkling fashion gene.


Hire a style Guru, Mr. Simmons!

 

David Hasselhoff

 

Judging by the way the "HOFF" wears his heart on his sleeve - the former soap stud is obviously inclined to get in touch with his feminine side - now-and-then.


As Justin Bieber might quip:

"Oh! Baby Baby Baby!"

Although adorned in diamonds and silk (and on occasion sparked up with a dollop of sexy lace trim) Hasselhoff only succeeds in sadly turning up "Hoffy" - or in the snarly alternative - plain puffy.

Boo Hoo!

Darling, it's time to fight off the inner demons.

David - handsome is as handsome does - after all.

Al Pacino

A scraggly little bird squawks out loudly.

"Heh!  Me a style setter?"

When Pacino trots down the red carpet - he does so - without an ounce of zest or originality.


Imagine that - a die-hard New Yorker - without a clue about how to stylishly feather his cap!

In fact, the celebrated actor has just one fashion reality, and it's a snap to fathom.


In sum, the Godfather's favorite son has a style gauge so out-of-whack, that it baffles the sensibilities.

Johnny Depp

 

A swirl of eccentric fashion ensembles - swimmingly underscore - that the 21 Jump Street escapee has yet to mature into a man-about-town worthy of the title.
Depp is an aimless tornado of - wild whims, strident missteps, and stylish taboos - who (not surprisingly) has been relegated to the realms of aging Lotharios in recent days.

A mere tourist, in fact, in plaid!


Johnny Boy - those self-indulgent scarfs that strangle (and jaunty hats that wobble) - should be given the old heave-ho.


Or, right to the gang-plank thee go, Mate!

Brad Pitt

Though singled out as "best-dressed" in the heady past - Pitt's collection of designer threads have been packed away in the closet of late - where they brim with dusty memories (unfortunately for his steady squeeze, Ms. Jolie).

Age may be a factor, Mr. Pitt.

On a recent outdoors splash - Pitt's "look" (knee-high kick-ass boots and leather pants) - cried out: "too" frisky.

For a fortyish male to sport in polite society, for starters!

In fact, the phrase "rough trade" sprang to mind when I caught sight of Angelina's better-half  amidst a blaze of blinding flash bulbs and straining paparazzi.

Chaz Bono

 

A surgeon's precise knife is not always capable of transforming a hefty female into a virile man-shape - replete with movable parts - in a bold-faced effort to effect a mucho-macho image.

Sadly - Cher's offspring Chaz (aka Chastity) - has underscored the undeniable fact splendidly.

On Bono - lesbian-style suits, a Supreme Court Justice's conservative blousey-style shirts, and sensible shoes - hammer home the point with certainty.

A quick gander at Mr. Bono - and his current lover - dredge up the obvious and the curious.

Cher's darling son is obviously a femme butch with an definite leaning towards a demented Mother fixation.


Surely - the fact that Chaz's girlfriend looks a lot like the Cher - hasn't escaped my reader's observations!

Who knew?

 

Prince Van AnHalt

 

 

Riding Boots and new-fangled off-the-wall takes on leather suspenders (Larry King eat your wife out) scream out B-list fashion alien.


Tweeds, bulky sweaters - even plain-Jane baseball caps fashioned in bulls-eye red - single out the fact without question or doubt.


Zsa Zsa should get wise for a number of reasons, if not just for the sake of appearance.


Invest in a Chauffeur's monkey suit, darlink!


Then, the old Royal (?) could double as both driver and Male escort.

 

Billy Bob Thornton

 

 

Screw-ball fashion quirks extend way beyond the make-shift layers - and resonate in confusion - when die-hard fans and film buffs alike catch a glimpse of Billy bonkers in fashion action.


If there is one endearing personality flaw - well - what is it?

Billy is a clothes-horse eccentric with no taste, for starters!
 

Regis Philbin

 

An aging show-biz trooper who got "old".

Rege?

The seasoned (salt & pepper clown) is stuffy and fussy and - just betcha - probably smells of hand-soap when encountered in the round or in the mensroom .

And, there's plenty in the round underneath there, to be sure .

Star Jones must have gifted the whirling dervish - with a bargain-basement packet of "Old Spice" toiletries for X-mas - don't 'ya think?

In view of his salty demeanour?

Splash it on lightly, Philly baby!

Larry King

A hodge-podge of unfashionable wardrobe silhouettes - where wide & dreary starched suspenders on vivid solid-based backgrounds - scream out for the Fashion Police pronto!

No wonder the persistent gent (from a golden heyday) got the hook from picky CNN Network Brass.

The men in suits at the studio probably uttered up sound advice when the pink slip was issued too.

"Larry!  You've got a great face for radio!"

 

Ten Best-Dressed Men

(2010)

Mark Steinnes

Mark sports sharp stylish suits, correctly-knotted silk ties, and flaunts nifty flourishes to spark up his distinctive "look".

His casual attire tends to be fresh, breathes with zesty enthusiasm, and bolsters a trim muscular physique.

The Entertainment Tonight front man is a fierce contender - therefore - for top dog broadcaster on a Nightly Entertainment magazine show.

Because of a flair for the sensual that attracts women - one is inclined to wonder aloud - is the manly cutie gay perchance?

Johnny Mathis

A mature man (70's) who continues to dazzle his fans on stage and off.

In fact, Johnny exudes confident chic in well-coordinated ensembles (elegant sweaters, understated dress slacks, cool top-of-the-line windbreakers) that resonate with timeless appeal without fail.

At the local market - Mr. Mathis squeezes the fruit and vegetables for freshness - along with the likes of moi and down-to-earth neighbours.

Uh-huh.

No man is an island!

Justin Timberlake

A fop and fashionable celebrity - comfortable in his role as an influential clothes-horse - for starters.

By the way - jaunty hats, eye-catching vests, and trend-setting mainstays are coordinated expertly - too.

Each stylish step forward is about to culminate - and ultimately - open the door to a signature collection of designers clothes.

A little bird told me!

Usher

For a Pop Icon, Usher is surprisingly on top when it comes to controlled fashion clashing.


Layered looks are especially flattering on his trim lean frame.


In fact, Usher boasts a stylish versatility most dudes would be wise to warm up to at home - or abroad - wherever.

Denzil Washington

Comfortable in - leather, jeans, and sweaters that all hug the bod snugly - Denzil is obviously the envy of less-fortunate fellows.

When the occasion calls for it, he'll don a pricey suit, with accessories that spark up the look.

Never over-the-top - he's an actor's actor - with a keen sense of style worth adopting.

Ryan Seacrest

Ryan has a flip outgoing personality - typical of those on the DJ circuit - with an extra dash of fashion savvy to boot (classy).

Though wise to the all-important image - and and ever-mindful of appropriate etiquette in career environs  - Seacrest is also capable of letting-loose after-hours in appealing with-it wardrobe choices that compliment his still-youthful spot-lighted persona.

No fashion disaster lurking in the wings to topple this fella!

Justin Bieber

Though just a teen - always-confident "Bieb" struts into the limelight - with a lot of flair and noticeable fanfare.

Why not?

The kid's got the world by the ba**s!

An eclectic mix of - Hollywood glitter, street-wise fashion smarts, and red-carpet musings - have catapulted the talented young heart-throb into the dizzying realms of fashion darling status.

Striking a provocative pose - while strumming a guitar - didn't hinder the lad's ability to launch his sizzling hot career into the stratosphere either.

Chic jackets in buttery-smooth leather - teamed with eye-catching tee's etched in sensual free-flowing patterns and sturdy quality shoes - are his signature style.

But, in recent days, stylish adventures have signalled the lad may be a fashionista to reckon with.

Heh, take Abercrombie & Fitch notes, Jonas brothers!

Jimmy Fallon

Boyishly dapper! 

A flirtatious host - instinctively keen about drawing an all-important invisible line between a man and his castle - and the boys in the band.

In addition, Fallon continually demonstrates a knack for mixing-and-matching - especially when it comes to tricky monochromatic hues that render a posse of ambitious dudes SOL at the finish line.

A Court Jester of sorts - who not only knows which side of the bread to butter - but the cost of jam in the scheme of things.

So, the perky talk-show host smartly spiffs up, when on-camera.

A leader of the well-heeled pack - sure to reach loftier social climbs - and ultimately realize the good life!

Tom Brady

Having a super model on his pumped-up arm hasn't hurt Brady's image or crimped his style - that's for sure!

And - any tips on fashion offered up - have obviously not fallen on deaf ears.

Although the handsome grid-iron celeb has wandered - from season-to-season - he's managed to avoid fumbling the ball or becoming a spectacle in the coveted limelight.

The popular quarterback is at home in designer jeans (he fills 'em out well), chic leather jackets, and casual T's.

But, is also a style maestro to reckon with, at any social event or red-carpet event.

Tailored dress shirts, elegant ties, and delightful manly accents - bootstrap Tom up - with fashionable ease.

Adrien Brody

When it comes to style the Oscar-winning actor has it in spades.

High-end casuals in rich colors and exotic fabrics - crafted by designers of note in the U.S. and Europe - are a shoe-in for Brody who has become known as a clothes-horse.

If only the backers of his films would pay up so he can afford to play the fashion game!

Special Category

 

Best Un-Dressed Man

Jake Gyllenhaal

Taylor Lautner - while buffed and a sexy toy-boy cut-out - didn't land a nod for the special Best-Dressed Un-Dressed category.

Nor could Ryan Gosling - though a pretty male cutie (a trifle skinny in some departments) - who didn't bother to throw any caution to a producer's wicked on-camera whims.

Jake Gyllenhaal - without much sweat - nabbed the title of the "Best Dressed ' Un-Dressed" due to his seductive surly presence in not one - but two - revealing celluloid offerings:

"Love & Other Drugs" & the "Prince of Persia".

As the Elvis lyric goes:

"A hunka-hunka burning love!"

I'd cast the stud as - houseboy, gigolo, or International jet-set playboy - at the drop of a jockstrap!

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Happy New Year...with Seacrest in NYC! Dazzliing Vegas-style soirees!

Holly Madison & a drinkie-pooh!

While MySpace pal Ryan Seacrest excitedly rehearses for Dick Clark's wildly extravagant annual New Year's bash to unfold tonight (where one million strong are expected to trek into the "Big Apple" in NYC to toast the town) - a host of party-hearty midnight-madness revellers - are pondering where to ring 2011 in (even in the 11th hour).

Without doubt - a posse of 'em will brave the elements as they ceremoniously join in on the much-anticipated fun-filled "count-down" (naked so-to-speak) in the packed mean streets of Manhattan.

Elsewhere - in the desert Oasis - 'neath twinkling stars or stormy romantic backdrop - the madding crowds in Vegas will be toasting each other, kissing the air cheek-to-cheek, and bidding adieu to economic blues just about behind 'em.

Of course, it's a no-brainer in another respect, too.

Thousands of chic gamblers will be elegantly dressed to-the-nines - as they engage in a glorious search for an upbeat indoor soiree - guaranteed to elevate the mood and ring in Lady Luck!

The tony well-heeled elite may be trotting into a couple of the high-profile destinations listed below where charismatic hosts will be presiding over the festive proceedings:

NIGHTCLUBS

*Kim Kardashian
   TAO

*B.o.B. & Bruno Mars
   JET

*Holly Madison
   LAVO

*Rihanna
   PURE

*Diddy
   LAX

*Paul Okenfold
   RAIN

EXCLUSIVE DINING PACKAGES

*Fix
   Bellagio Hotel

*Stack
   Mirage Hotel

*Union
   Aria Hotel

*Yellowtail
   Bellagio

Ryan DJ baby & Clark the chart-tracker !



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Julian Ayrs 3rd Annual Worst-Dressed / Best-Dressed Women!

A nod to Mr. Blackwell!

Style, it's that - not the clothes - that make the man or woman!

When a fashionista strolls into a high-profile soiree - it's important that if the casual observer spots a definite "look" pleasing to-the-eye right off-the-bat - that they give the nod when the stylish mission has been accomplished.

There's nothing worse than a man-about-town - or a stylish gal, either - appearing in public like they've just been shoddily-pieced together.

Here is a sampling of folks in the limelight who pulled off the stylish task admirably - and a handful of ne'er-do-well fashion ruffians - who missed the mark by a country-mile!

Ten Worst-Dressed Women

(2010)

Lindsay Lohan

A rehab Queen with a fussy fashion flair - often topped with curious feathery strands of luscious fly-away-hairs - that cry out for ward-robe and make-up handlers to storm in from the sidelines for emergency repairs!

Lohan is capable of transforming a simple cocktail dress into a signature number, though, and often pulls the nifty trick off with little aplomb provided traces of magic dust don't call attention to a habit of the hard-core druggie variety.


Lindsay, rages on!

But, in the final analysis - quite a few of the threads amount to tasteless K-Mart specials - that underscore her penchant for bargain-basement notions that ultimately bind her down.

Diane Keaton

Old-hat Keaton - brimming with stale accessories - continues to flash forward with Woody Allen reminders that spell toxic nostalgic memories of a tired (oh-so-Geritol-laced) yesteryear.


Being as comfortable as an old worn shoe doesn't amount to a hill of has-beens - or even manage to cut a fine swath in the wardrobe finery scheme of things - Diane!


Egads!

Bristol Palin

A pioneer woman (you betcha) attempting to conquer bell-weather trends in a gaggle of dicey silvery fabrics straight from the moonshine shacks of a foreboding "North to Alaska" hell.

Not mucho pot luck, eh Bristol?

The bizarre body-sheath featured above fails to flatter the former ABC Disco Queen's figure (is that what it is?) for a handful of nonsensical reasons!

If 'ya haven't got it, then don't try to flaunt it, darlink!


 

Rihanna

A misfit in a windstorm who can't make up her trendy mind!

The Pop Diva is a riot of jazzy colors and off-the-wall high-tech synthetic fabrics (tisk ! tisk!).

The tiresome - details details details - bog the wannabee Siren down into near-stylish oblivion.

On the way to becoming last year's best flavor???

Mary Tyler Moore

A matronly glance at the past which has succeeded in demonizing a campy potato sack offering while rudely tossed over an out-of-shape body politic.


Oh, Mary!


In the shocking attack on fashion (captured above) - too many wraps and sashes and unsightly giggling gnashes - have ended up hiding once-pretty pair of shapely legs.

Likewise, the little distractions creep over once-perky heavenly boobies with fascination, as slow as Molasses in January!

Joan Rivers

A walking-talking "k-vetching" QVC kiosk ready to explode at the witching hour and devour!


Talk about a carpet-bagger!

Joan, where did you scoop up that flowery number, masquerading as a designer couture frock?


Just maybe, it was a once-glorious table-cloth or left-over curtain, scooped up from a fanciful re-run lifted from the still-hilarious Carol Burnett Variety Show?

Chelsea Lately

The B-list talk-show hostess (without the mostest) touts Madonna hand-me-down bustiers - replete with tacky stressed-out infrastructures - that triumphantly underscore the merits of squirreling away a couture designer gown or two for future red-carpet emergencies (even at the cost of a pretty penny).

What kind of white-trailer-trash are you?

Well - no pulses are racing - honey!

Star Jones

Heh, baby!'

Your persona is about to be shuffled aside by a big "black hole".

OMG!

I'm betting a little moolah (with the emphasis on moo) that it might be "O's" hefty whirl-wind entrance - onto a snazzy competing Cable Network's airwaves - that's about to push 'ya out of the limelight!


Star, you have more chins - and celestial cellulite bodies - than Saturn has stellar heavenly rings or Carter's amassed in little liver pills.

Nikki Blonsky

Deck the halls with a myriad of floating budding beading patterns!


Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Is that a night mask at your waist (that you're waiting to slip on) or a belt you're about to maneuver by dumptruck just so - to hide all the flubbery flab- honey bun?


Fashion is capable of being utilitarian, but this takes the cake, I fathom!

Snookie

Snooki reminds me of a rump roast, trussed up, ready to be carved up by a pack of ravenous sex-hungry Jersey macho studs! 

Missionary position, please!


The outfit featured here is not fashion - it's a designer sheet - waiting to happen.

Ten Best-Dressed Women

(2010)

Helen Mirren

Ms. Mirren is risk-taker and a stylist's breath of fresh!


Again and again, the sexy Senior trots down the carpet - continually wowing the envious teaming masses!

Kate Middleton

Though I was inclined to feature Ms. Middleton's "coming out" frock - it occurred to me that I should address a side of Prince William's fiance - that is adventurous and terribly with it.

In the Royal Court, the Royals will be turning their noggins, in wondrous fascination.

Halle Berry

The former "Bond" girl is a knock-out - even with next to nothing on her flawless appealing skin - for starters!

Halle has a grab-bag of fashion tricks sure to keep her on top.

Meanwhile the competition on the carpet falls down and goes boom.

They should take some pointers!

Carey Mulligan

Sweet, elegant, and chic - the pretty Brit knows how to turn herself out in the quick - and snap up a bevy of prized Statuettes in the aftermath as she catches her glorious sexy breath!

Michelle Obama

Golly, Michelle Obama underscores that she really "cleans up" nice! 

Though, often inclined to sport outfits according to formal (or ceremonial occasions), sometimes Obama's better-half takes a splash - and in the process - makes my fellow Americans sit up and take notice.

Kirsten Dundst

All the curves and allure of a legendary siren underscore why the tony elite continue to do Ms. Dundst' bidding.

Nonetheless, Kirsten slyly manages to fit right in on the red carpet - at the Golden Globes, the Oscars, or a premiere movie opening - without appearing too showy or pushy!

Natalie Portman

"The Black Swan" opened doors wide - and now the high-profile Portman - is the center of a Hollywood whirlwind!

On the carpet or off, Natalie holds her own with the best of 'em.

Expect she'll be turning out in some nifty "outfits" for baby that will cause a heady new trend!

Liza Minnelli

A feminine fashion approach is best for Liza - boas that don't constrict, and feathers that soften the look of her skin - are best choices.


A striking persona who dazzles when she saunters into a soiree.


Talk about stealing the limelight! 

Salma Hayek

Salma is able to trade off her dynamite "sensual appeal" in high-fashion knock-outs (couture gowns) with elegant slip chic elegant ease.


Ah, she exalts scintillating eye-catching flourishes. that underscore her Divine shapely figure.

Taylor Swift

"You get me," Ms. Swift has oft screamed from the stage

Uh-huh!

The Country & Western Beauty is a fashion plate (darlings) - capable of charming from the get-go - when she strolls out on the stage and strikes up a catchy musical or fashion chord.

Special Category

Best Dressed / Non -Fashion Statement

Lady Gaga

Environmental statements, Monster exaltations, and ballsy sensations all rolled-into one!

 

In the surprise end scenario, Lady Gaga's wild showy bark, underscores she's truly a one-of-a-kind Yankee-Doodle Darling.

Legends are made of these, poker face!

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