As far as spoofs go, it went badly.
Blame it on a poorly-developed idea (book adaptation), badly-written script, and a star past his prime - who lacked the good sense to quit - while he was ahead of the game.
Even the normally-formidable talents of elegant Helen Mirren and quirky John Malcovich couldn’t save a Die Hard star’s vanity vehicle intended to end a long drought.
Not much to crow about, Bruce.
Sight gags went awry, dialogue fell flat, and the old Willis screen charm - what there was of it - wore thin a few minutes into the lame flick.
Frankly, I dozed off half-the-way through this studio clunker, which was short on laughs - and thanks to Demi’s ex - too long in the tooth to rustle up any enthusiasm for its cardboard characters and muddled plot.
The basic premise - a posse of retired spies break into a secure Law Enforcement Agency to ferret out information on a hit - stunk to high heaven.
In fact, the writers must have been smoking some of the leafy green stuff at a rally for the legalization of marijuana in sunny Cal, when they tossed about this dumb scenario in the development phase.
I expect the box office receipts will be sobering when the word gets out.
In a nutshell?
Red is a overcooked turkey that causes the stomach to turn.
Excuse me, while I go and throw up!
Bruce Willis infectious grin now a grimace!