Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Filmgoers waited in the cold for over an hour-and-half due to management's gross lack of organization, two unfunny low-lifes from the Popcorn Mafia shocked audiences with cruel A.I.D.S. and paraplegic jokes, and when the lights went up on the stage fans were forced to endure amateurish, sloppy, immature material that smacked of grade school.
Guest Diablo Cody (Juno screenwriter) couldn't even save the disaster.
I was cruising down Beverly Boulevard when I spied the writer's name on the well-lit marguee at the New Beverly Cinema.
Quick on the uptake, I screeched into a parking stall a block up, then headed up the bustling street to take in the show.
What a mistake.
I should have put on blinders on and driven right by.
When I arrived at the front of theatre, there were just a handful of guests milling about, waiting to purchase their tickets.
But, when an onslaught of excited Diablo Cody enthusiasts desended on the revival house, it was evident that something was amiss.
As it turned out, the New Beverly Cinema accepted reservations online at their web site, which caused a lot of confusion in the aftermath at the Theatre.
For example, two haphazard lines started to form - one for those who reserved online - and another for folks (like myself) who just popped unaware of the bizarre ticket purchase snafu that was about to erupt into some unpleasantness.
Screwy, for obvious reasons.
People who reserved on the web site didn't actually pay for their tickets - nor did they actually have a downloaded copy of a coupon - in hand.
So, these guests were forced to stand in line to complete the process, while a handful of unhappy patrons grumbled about the slip-shod (imbecile way) the seating arrangements were handled.
The line snaked along ever-so-slowly because - after all - the cashier on duty was forced to sift through pages of reservations to locate the names, and produce a wrist band, to send them on their merry (?) way.
One disgruntled man next to me grunted that if they did actually pay, they should get into the same line as the rest of the folks.
To complicate matters, some dim wit - with shit for brains - strolled out of the lobby on a stupid whim and proceeded to holler out instructions and treat the guests like cattle.
The guy was obviously born in a barn!
Then, the short dumpy bald loser, came up with a brilliant idea in respect to queue etiquette.
"People with ticket reservations stand in line there. People without tickets line up over here."
Everyone turned to each other in disbelief.
Obviously, that was too simple though, because he was inclined to step outside twice after that, and pull a switcheroo again and again.
Well, you just had to look at the guy to see what his problem was.
Could this actually be the stupidest person on the planet standing there in front of us in plain sight?
When he made a derogatory reference about homeless people, well, I was disgusted.
Personally, I didn't mind standing in line because - after all - I drove up last-minute to catch the event out-of-the-blue.
What did upset me, though, were the selfish people - without any class - who used their pull with a friend involved with the production inside to butt in line (at the expense of decent well-mannered individuals who waited patiently in line instead).
I have attended screenings at this theatre for years, have written reviews for their films, and have never ever asked for special treatment, free admission, or a VIP entrance through the side door.
As much as possible, I try to be a regular theatre-goer, without throwing my weight around.
But, last night, was BAD!
Michael (the owner) should be ashamed. I am surprised that he permitted that crappy behaviour to persist inside his doors.
In spite of the rough start - it was pitiful, believe me - I entered the Theatre with an open mind.
But - the lack of production values ($12.00 for this shit?), humorless material, and stale old gossip snatched up from old movie mags - was so low-brow that I shifted in my seat uncomfortably.
There weren't many folks in my section of the Theatre laughing, I assure you.
In fact, I almost walked out when one of the hosts of the Popcorn Mafia Show made a nasty joke about A.I.D.S.
After making a disparaging remark about a specific film era, one dizzy broad quipped with an acid tonuge:
"No wonder they all died from A.I.D.S. in the eighties!"
Her cohort actually followed up with a congratulatory slap on the back for getting to an A.I.D.S.. joke right at the top of the show.
Miss, millions of people have died from A.I.D.S., and the crisis has reached global propertions.
If you think that this many years on, it is okay to poke fun of the killer disease - and those afflicted - you are sadly mistaken.
At the end of the show, when a puppet was given out as a prize, the other host proved she was just as insenstive and mean-spirted (and out of touch with the times).
"Oh, it feels like cuddling up to a paraplegic."
I was stunned!
The sooner these pieces of white trailer trash have vanished from the podcast airwaves, the better off America will be, for having given them a well-deserved boot.
Start your boycott of the Popcorn Mafia Show today.