I just got a dubious e-mail from an old friend this morning who contends that actor Bill Crosby is running as a write-in candidate for President!
His platform is a hoot!
Campaign issue No. 1
"Press 1 for English" is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.
Campaign Issue No. 2
We will immediately go into a two-year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. No imports, no exports.
We will use the Wal-Mart policy: "If we ain't got it, you don't need it."
Campaign Issue No. 3
When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.
Campaign Issue No. 4
All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border (a six month tour).
They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
Campaign Issue No. 5
Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin' in, you ain't gettin nuttin' out.
Neither the president nor any other politician will be able to touch it.
Campaign Issue No. 6
Welfare checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40-hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis test and a passing grade.
Campaign Issue No. 7
The FIRST time you check positive for professional athletes steroids, you're banned for life.
Campaign Issue No. 8
We will adopt the Turkish method when it come to crime. The first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There are no more life sentences. If convicted, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
Campaign Issue No. 9
One export will be allowed. Wheat. The world needs to eat.
A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
Campaign Issue No. 10
All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.
Campaign Issue No. 11
The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.
Campaign Issue No. 12
The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.
In his closing remarks, Cosby apologizes in advance with an upbeat comment:
"Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will get you better than what you have and better than what you're gonna get. Thanks for listening and remember to write in my name on the ballot in November."
God Bless America !!!!!!!!!!!
I could teach that Obama kid a thing or two...